After School Unwind Session: "...gonna let your hair hang down..."

 Every take a bath and feel like you're being watched?

This evening I treated myself to a relaxing salt bath to wash away any troubles, stress, and anxiety down the drain. I've discussed this in a previous blog post...water is so healing. But I have one thing to admit, I had a glass of wine to take my relaxing bath up another notch. The whole time that drain plate watched me with those eyes full of judgement. AS IF! I had a stressful day and deserve every second of this! I'm not going on a guilt trip tonight!

Today was nonstop as I taught my students virtually in Google Meet sessions while also trying gather materials and supplies together for their virtual supply pick up. We just recently switched back to full virtual learning. So, I'll be teaching from home and students will be learning from home until mid-January the earliest.

I had so much to do that when I finally got home after 4:00, I realized I didn't even PEE today! This isn't the first time that has happened and I know it won't be the last. My doctor actually informed me that teachers and nurses are the number one professions he sees as patients coming into his office with UTIs. I believe it! (I better remember to drink plenty of cranberry juice tonight...someone remind me please!)

So tonight I didn't spin any vinyl (yet). Instead, I played some Led Zeppelin ballads from my phone as I soaked in the tub and meditated.

Tonight's Led Zeppelin Salt Bath Playlist:

• "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You"
• "I Can't Quit You Baby"
• "Thank You"
• "Since I've Been Loving You"
• "Tangerine"
• "That's The Way"
• "The Rain Song"

Yes, it was a long bath. No shame in my game. It was much needed. 

As I closed my eyes, meditated and listened to the music, I realized that there are certain days that I listen mainly for the lyrics and then there are days that I listen for the melody and instruments. Today, I was definitely focusing on the melody and instruments. I had the music loud enough that I could almost see each string being plucked. I visualized the tambourine vibrations. It was so grounding for me. 

I'm going to start making it at weekly habit of taking a salt bath with music after work. It is so good for the soul. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself right now, "I don't have TIME to take baths!" I'm sure you have a very busy schedule with children and family to take care of. But if it is something that might help you after a long, stressful day, don't you think you should at least try to make a plan to squeeze in even 10 minutes, once a week? 

Ask yourself this question: "Do I deserve it?"

I'm sure you already know that answer.

🎵"These are the seasons of emotion

And like the wind, they rise and fall

This is the wonder of devotion

I see the torch

We all must hold"🎵

-Led Zeppelin "The Rain Song"
Song writers: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant

"So I dig, deep in the belly of my soul"

Throughout the last few months, I have had an interest in learning more about Reiki and experiencing it firsthand. I've been practicing some of my own meditation and self care rituals, but I wanted to add a Reiki experience to my list of practices. So, today I went to my first Reiki session and it was better than I imagined. 

My Reiki master was very thorough. I was there for just slightly over two hours for the actually Reiki session and an intuitive reading afterwards that dug deep into my many layers and how to move forward. Best of all, she recorded the reading so I can hear her explanations again to remember things. She is also emailing me a report. I'm not going to go into all of the details of my reading, but I will share some of the highlights.

Who Am I?

If you have been following my blog, you may recall one of my latest blog posts that dug into the question of "Who Am I?" a little bit. It turns out that I need to do just that. According to my Reiki master, she said that right now I'm so full of what others expect me to be or what others think I am. But I need to dig down deep within myself to figure out what makes me ME. If you would have seen the look on my face!!! 

Another thing worth mentioning was that I'm supposed to be doing something BIGGER. What that is, I do not know. She asked me if I had any idea what it would be if I wasn't teaching. I told her about my passion for music and that I recently started a blog. She said that what I'm doing could be a stepping stone for something big to come. My energy field was just so huge and bright that it was "too big for my body and for what I'm doing in my life." 

She unveiled some of my fears that she got from the reading. I had mentioned to her that I am so full of anxiety sometimes that I don't even know where it is coming from. She found that I have a fear of not having enough time to do everything that I want and need to do. I also have a fear of failure. Both are true. I'm always rushing around, talking a mile a minute, as if there isn't enough time for everything. And yes, I'm always extremely hesitant of breaking out of my comfort zone for fear of failure.

The final thing from the reading that I want to share is that from my solar plexus down, she could not get any reading. There were no vibrations. I then shared with her that when I meditate, I visualize so vividly and I can feel its effects. However, my legs end up feeling like lead! She said I need to start doing some yoga to begin opening up those other chakras.

So....now what?!

I need use everything that I have gained from this reiki experiences to my benefit. But where to start? Well, I definitely need to come up with a plan:

• Get into a good yoga routine.
• Dig down deep to know and understand who I really am
• Find some good throat and heart chakra meditations to open them up even more
• When I start to feel the onset of anxiety arising, I need to face it head on and pick it apart to figure out what the actual trigger is. 

Life's Music Connection:

Now Playing: 

Maggie Koerner - "Dig Down Deep"

Album: Dig Down Deep EP

Let me introduce you to a powerhouse of a woman vocalist, Miss Maggie Koerner. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her live in Pompono Beach, Florida, back in April 2017. I remember the moment she opened her mouth to sing, the world around me stood still. I got chills. The only thing that existed at that moment in time was her voice and her lyrics. 

Maggie Koerner
CrawDebauchery Food and Music Festival
Pompano Beach, Florida
April 2017

Me and Maggie Koerner
World Cafe Live
Philadelphia, PA
September 18, 2019

Her music has really helped me through a lot since then. To be quite honest, I listen to her a lot at school after I put the children on their buses just to release any anxieties of the day. Certain artists speak to me. It's like they know what is going on in my head and their music is my antidote for any stress that I'm feeling.

So, the simple answer to many of my questions has been there all along. It was right in front of my face the entire time. It has been playing through my car, phone, and home speakers multiple days of the week. And yet I never REALLY listened to what Maggie was saying: 

"What do you say once in the light of day
What do you find once give in to time
So I did, so I dig, down in the belly of my soul
Dig down deep, deep deep deep
Deep in the belly where I lay"
-Maggie Koerner, "Dig Down Deep"

My Reiki master told me today that the reason I'm so exhausted is because I'm constantly trying to consciously figure things out within myself. That is what is draining all of the energy out of me. This whole time I thought I was exhausted from trying to block out negativity. The truth is, I need to stop trying to CONSCIOUSLY figure things out because it is deeper than that. Instead it needs to be done on a subconscious level. How? Maybe meditation. She even suggested using some singing bowls since I respond so well to music and sound.

I'm very glad I tried out Reiki today. The funny thing is, now that I am more aware of myself, my chakras, and my energy field, I have even more questions about myself. 

But, isn't that what always happens? Life can be such a puzzle sometimes. But I'll continue to piece together what makes me ME.

"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge"

Today started of fantastic! I sent some tweets out on my Twitter account to help get my blogging out. I also posted on my Facebook page, asking my followers what their go-to songs are that get them up and going in the morning. Some shared some fun songs that I listened to and pumped me up even more. I needed it for our last day of virtual school before Thanksgiving break!

Yesterday I reached out to the parents and asked them to share with me their child's and their own go-to songs to lift up their moods and make them happy. I plan on adding these songs to my Classroom Playlist that I keep on my Amazon Music account. I stream the songs for the students as they arrive in our Google Meet and wait for others to join. I was happy to see that one parent shared with me a song that their child loves. There is no foul language in the song, which is great. But there are a couple lyrics that may deem  "inappropriate."

I played the song when the child arrived in the Google Meet and his face lit up! I tried to end the song early enough before any lyrics that may be questionable. All of the students were bobbing their heads along to the music...it was adorable! I told the class that their one classmate (we will refer to him as "R") requested the song. So many of them said that they knew the song and loved it! I reminded them to have their parents send me a song that makes them happy so we can start off the day happy and upbeat. Mindset is everything when starting the day. If we are in the wrong mindset first thing in the morning, it will end up being a struggle for the rest of the day for ALL of us.

"R's" Requested Song: Post Malone & Swae Lee - "Sunflower (Spider-man - Into the Spider-verse)"

After enjoying "R's" song, I told them that I wanted to introduce them to a song that always makes me feel good. This song reminds me of summer and warms me up!

New Classroom Playlist Track: 

Surfaces - "Sunday Best"
Album: Surfaces - "Where The Light Is"

🎵"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge
All you gotta do is leave it better than you found it

It's gonna get difficult to stand, but hold your balance

I just say whatever 'cause there is no way around it"🎵

-Songwriters Forrest Frank and Colin Padalecki 

I told them to REALLY listen to the lyrics. I would like for all of you reading this to do the same. It has an incredible message. Surfaces' music always has a positive message. They never sing about anything negative. They use their music and their voices to lift you up. Their words are a good reminder to all of us to emit positivity and love with everything we do. No matter what life throws at us, we will get through it. We will all have our struggles, but it is part of life.

I connected this with everything that is going on in education during this pandemic. We are in school live, then we are virtual. Then some of us are back live on certain days of the week. Then we are all virtual again and we are trying to figure out our schedules. I'm trying to figure out how to meet with all of my students and meet all of their needs, but at the same time, not overwhelm them with too much screen time and work. I'm also trying to make sure I'm not overwhelming the parents.

The one thing that we all need to remember: Balance

Balance is important in everyone's lives right now. It's easy to forget to balance all aspects of your your life. Blogging has actually given me a better sense of balance. Before I started blogging, I would be doing school work until 9:00 at night. My life was completely unbalanced. It was all work. Sure, I'm a teacher. That's my job. But that is not ALL of me. That is not the ONLY thing that makes me who I am.

Who Am I?

Again, I am a teacher...but that is only one part of me. This picture shows how I ended my virtual learning today. But this is NOT all of me. I will not be sitting in front of my laptops all Thanksgiving break doing school work. It would be very easy to do. But being a teacher is not the only thing that makes me ME.

"Who am I?" This is a very important question to ask yourself in order to "rebalance" yourself. You are NOT just one thing. So many things make you "YOU." You should really take the time to think about it. Think deeply...down to the core of who you are. Only YOU have the ability to figure it out. Feel free to comment to this blog or on one of my social media pages where I share this blog post and tell us all about your journey in finding out who you are.

What I plan to do for the rest of the afternoon before heading to my parent's for Thanksgiving break is meditate and try to answer that question myself. I also think I'll stream the rest of that Surfaces album as well to keep this good mood and positive energy going.

Stay positive friends! Lots of love your way...

After School Unwind Session: "Thoughts arrive like butterflies"

This evening I wasn't quite sure which vinyl I was going to go with for my Unwind Session. Usually depending on what I'm feeling, I will know EXACTLY what to play. I find it in my collection (arranged alphabetically by artist), place it on the turn table, then hear that welcoming sound of needle against vinyl. This evening though, I wasn't sure what I was in the mood to listen to. I guess that makes sense because my brain just feels a little frazzled today. I feel like I'm an internet browser with 100 tabs open! It's one of my quirks. Or really, it's one of my flaws. My brain doesn't slow down. I think too much and usually I'm thinking of too many things all at once. Just this weekend when I was spending time with my family, my mother says to me "Did you hear ANYTHING I just told you?" and my response was "Huh? Oh, you were talking to me?" I really don't know how she has put up with me for 39 years!

Gotta Slow Down the Beat

So, I needed just relax first and clear my mind. One thing I like to do to slow down my thoughts is to close my eyes, focus on 5-5-5 breathing, and meditate, thinking of all of the things that I am grateful for at that moment. It grounds me and takes my mind off of the unimportant things clogging up my brain. It closes all of those browser tabs. After doing that for a little bit, I was finally able to choose a record to play.

Now Spinning: Pearl Jam - MTV Unplugged

Key Tracks: 

• "Black" - the lyrics and the melody are beyond beautiful and yet completely heart-wrenching. I cry every time I hear this song.
• "Porch" - solid closing song to their live set

Ok, so who is old enough to remember MTV when they actually played music? Ahhh, those were the days. And one of the best things they ever did were their Unplugged sessions. They had some great artists on there, such as Eric Clapton, Nirvana, and Bob Dylan. This NEEDS to come back, in some way, shape or form. Who knows, maybe it is back but I'm unaware of it because I don't watch enough TV! 

What I love about this album is how stripped down it is. It's still Pearl Jam, but a bare boned Pearl Jam in its purest form. Their ballads are even more moving (I usually prefer their ballads over their stronger and heavier songs). Even playing only acoustically, songs such as "State of Love and Trust," "Even Flow," and "Porch" still deliver a rush of adrenaline to your soul. I love how different every one of their songs sound from each other. The set list from this live show includes a variety of songs with different tempos and beats, and yet it just flows so fluidly.

My mind today was all over the place and chaotic. Between the breathing exercise, creating a mental gratitude list, and listening to this album, I'm starting to finally slow my brain down for the evening. 

What do you do when your brain feels like it's on overload? Feel free to share your techniques in the comments. I hope that maybe some techniques I used this evening and shared with you will help you in a time of need! If all else fails, reach out to someone. No matter what you trick yourself into believing, you are never alone in how you are feeling. You should always reach to someone...there is always someone there for you. Even if it's me, a random newbie blogger.

🎵"Hold on to the thread

the currents will shift

glide me towards you..."🎵

-Eddie Vedder

"Time may change me, but I can't trace time..."

Today's Earworm: David Bowie - "Changes"

It's fitting, really. 

We had a last minute change yesterday afternoon. These two days that we have left of school this week before the break has changed to all-virtual. Today I was supposed to meet with my all-virtual students anyway. But, I just have to do it from home now instead, not from school. Tomorrow though, I'll have to meet with my kiddos who normally come in to school virtually instead of in the classroom. 

Do I like teaching virtually? NOPE. By the end of the school day, my eyes and head hurt from all the screen time. I do have blue light glasses and they help...but it's not a total cure/fix. I miss my classroom. I miss my kiddos. I miss my structure/routine. And as you can see, I miss my normal dining area in my house that has now become my classroom. Here is a selfie I took yesterday. This was taken at the end of the day:

Now, here is a picture of my "classroom" this morning:

Imagine trying to teach 6 year olds how to read and write VIRTUALLY. I'm not going to sugarcoat this one bit! It's nothing against them at all. In fact, I'm very proud of how hard they are all working during these unusual times. But there are certain things that just HAVE to be taught in person. Here I am, using my fingers to tap out the sounds of a word to help a child decode it.

Example: the word "cat:" pinch first finger to the thumb for /c/, middle finger to the thumb for /a/, ring finger to the thumb for /t/. 

Easy peasy? Nope, no easy peasy lemon squeezy here. Just picture it:

"No, not that finger! We start with our first finger. Point to your pointing finger. One sound for the first finger. /c/. No, don't say the whole word, just the first sound. Watch me. Wait, is that a TV that is on and you're watching it? Yes, I know you have a cat, but let's try to tap out the word to SPELL cat. No, wait, come back! I'll give you time to show me your cat later!"

The one perk right now? At least I don't have to wear a mask while teaching. YOU try teaching the /th/ sound to a child wearing a mask! Normally I direct their attention to my mouth so they can see my mouth formation: bite down slightly on your toungue with your front teeth, making a "tongue sandwich." Nope, they can't see it with my mask on in the classroom. And I can't see if they are making the sound correctly either since their masks are on. Sure I try to listen, but the /th/ and /f/ sounds are pretty similar and are commonly mixed up with the children at this age.

These poor kids and these poor parents! I've had so many reach out to me thanking ME for MY patience! But really, THEY are the real rock stars because they are pretty much becoming teachers themselves during virtual learning while I'm meeting with other students and they are required to do assignments and watch video lessons. So to all the parents out there reading this:

THANK YOU!

And not just my own students' parents. Parents of all young children who are learning virtually everywhere. You have no idea how grateful all of us are for your support! It would be a lot more difficult and stressful if it wasn't for you!

So what am I doing NOW to help my students AND my parents? I'm creating a class playlist. We have certain songs that I've introduced them to already. They can be found on my Classroom Playlist page. But now I'm wanting to hear more from the students and parents. I want to hear about the songs that make THEM smile and the songs that cheer them up when they're having a rough day. What I'm going to do is create an Amazon Music playlist of all of the kid appropriate songs they share and play them for the students and parents as they log into our daily Morning Meetings and wait for it to start. I want to start each day in a cheerful way and play music that resonates with them. I'm continuing to try to use music as therapy with my students, but ALSO with my parents.

This school year has been stressful on everyone...teachers, students, and parents. I'm just trying to make these times less strange for us and make us feel more at ease. We will "turn and face the strange..."

Now, off I go to the hair salon to get these gray hairs colored.

🎵"And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it."🎵

-David Bowie, "Changes"