After School Unwind Session: "Move like a jellyfish"

Sometimes we need to just stop overthinking, planning, and worrying. Just go with the flow. In yesterday's blog post, I made a list of daily tasks to help my mind and body "reset." I thought it was a pretty solid list. I was able to check off a couple more things today than yesterday, which is a good start. However, my biggest success arrived last night when I was trying out a different meditation video. 

This meditation/hypnosis video was much better than the one I had on the night before. A man with a calming voice talks you through the meditation and hypnosis to help with jaw tension, clenching, and grinding. As I was relaxing and focusing on his words, there was a moment when I couldn't believe my ears. 

"...your self hypnosis will help you to safely relearn, retrain, and powerfully reset your body and your mind's habits with a much deeper sense of relief..."

RESET

It still amazes me how the universe knows exactly what we need.  By me blogging about how I wanted to "reset" my mind and body each day, I ended up putting it out into the universe. Then during the video I hear him saying that listening to this will help me "reset." I actually laughed out-loud. The universe brought it to me. All of that planning I did by creating that list...for nothing?!

No, not for nothing.

One video on YouTube is not the end all, be all. I still have to pay attention to what I'm doing during the day and break the bad habits and routines that I got myself wrapped up in. Don't get me wrong, the video was VERY helpful! I fell sound asleep before it even ended. The only negative thing I have to say about the video is that when it ended, a YouTube add came on immediately afterwards, which startled me out of my sleep since I had the volume up quite a bit to hear the calming background sounds during the meditation. So, that advertisement messed things up a bit, since I was using it to relax and get a good night's sleep! However, I did fall back to sleep shortly after and slept the whole night! It didn't "cure" my jaw pain. I still must have been clenching and grinding my teeth at some point during the night. But there definitely was a different in the quality of sleep that I got and the pain level in my jaw in the morning. 

Go With The Flow

So maybe I just need to go with the flow. I need to stop overthinking, over-planning, and worrying about things. Maybe I just need to give things some thought, then go with the flow to see what happens. It's always good to have a plan for anything in life. But, it's ok if we deviate from that plan a little. 

Tonight I'm listening to Jack Johnson. It's perfectly fitting because even though I have never met the guy, he seems like the most chill and laidback person ever. Listening to his music always puts me in a very calm, serene, and light mood. So, I'll follow his advise this evening and throughout the weekend:

"Move like a jellyfish,

Rhythm is nothing

You go with the flow

You don't stop"
Jack Johnson - "Bubble Toes"

Album: Brushfire Fairytales

Hmm...now that I think about it, reflecting on the day while listening to my music, I realize that I must have subconsciously known this morning what I was going to listen to tonight. I read to my class "Octopus's Garden" by Ringo Star and Illustrated by Ben Cort. Definitely a water theme going on today. I added this book to my Music Themed Children's Books list. 

So tonight, I'll be a jellyfish, just going with the flow, "in an Octopus's Garden in the shade." I'll try to just live life, enjoy every moment, and see where the current takes me, without over-thinking.

After School Unwind Session: "Making a list, checking it twice...three times...four times..."

Between school going all virtual, the upcoming holidays, and other things we will just put under the category of "Life," my anxieties were at high-level, code red today.

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

This was me this morning. I felt like I had a cold, I have all of the symptoms of a UTI (who DIDN'T see that coming?!), Google Meets were glitching up a storm, and no amount of music from our "Classroom Playlist" was helping me. I mean, look at the way the elf on the shelf was looking at me!

Poor little guy looks scared for his life and wants OUT! Maybe he will feel bad for me and tell Santa that I deserve lots of spa and liquor store gift cards if I am lucky!

Where is the RESET button?!

If life only had a reset button, things would be so much easier. I would have pressed that button this morning and started the day over. However, no such button exists. 

But, could one exist?

If you ask anyone who I work with, they will tell you I'm OCD. I don't throw terms around like that very easily. I have many of the signs of OCD. I just always try to be in control of it, such as making sure I say aloud to myself as I'm locking my front door, "Melissa, you are locking the door. There is no need to get back out of the car AGAIN to check to make sure you locked it." Another trait is that I have a TON of lists. I LOVE lists. I will always find an excuse to create a list! So maybe my "reset button" has to be a list.

Melissa's Daily Tasks To Complete In Order To
"Reset" And "Recharge" Everyday

 1. Start the day with yoga

 2. Morning cup of coffee

 3. Protein shake with added digestion support and fiber

 4. Drink 64 ounces of water

 5. Take multiple pee breaks

 6. Take computer breaks

 7. Eat lunch AND dinner...no more skipping meals!

 8. Blog/write while listening to music

 9. Read

10. Meditate

11. Wash

12. Rinse

13. Sleep

14. Repeat

Side note: I had to do some editing in my list a few times because it had to have an even number of tasks, and of course I couldn't finish with 13 items. Seriously...it's 2020 and I'm NOT taking any chances!

I wonder if I commit myself to completing this task list daily, it would work as a "reset" button every morning and every night? I won't know unless I test it out.

Even though most of the day is gone already and I barely checked ANYTHING off of the list so far, I will do my best to end the day strong. Last night I did try out one of the meditation videos to help with grinding my teeth at night. To be honest, it didn't do much of anything for me. I'm expecting more to come out of it. So, I will give a different video a try this evening. I'm not giving up until I figure out a way to enhance my mental wellness on a subconscious level.

To all of my fellow list-lovers out there, try making a list of tasks that could help your own mental well-being. Maybe this can be our own version of a reset button, with a sound start and end of each day, loaded with important tasks our brain and body needs in the middle. There is no perfect list.

I'll say that again louder for the people in the back: THERE IS NO PERFECT LIST! (I had to say it again louder for myself too, because I need to hear it.)

Just like writing, our body's needs and requirements constantly have to be proofread, revised, and edited. However, there will not be a final draft. 

I am a work in progress, and so are you.

In the meantime, I'm going to listen to the advise given by the Eagles, and "take it easy."

Now Spinning: Eagles - Their Greatest Hits

After School Unwind Session: "They Call Me The Seeker"

Opening Up

I'm going to be open and honest with all of you:
I'm usually more concerned and worried about others than myself. I worry about my students. But I have to understand that I'm doing everything that I can to make virtual learning non-stressful for them. I need to tell myself "The Kids Are Alright." 

But what about me? Am I alright?

I've been having to go to the dentist lately because my TMJ is acting up pretty severely. It turns out I'm grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw really bad at night. I've been on a soft food diet for over 2 weeks. Luckily, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, as well as wine, are "soft foods." Now I'm getting a night guard made to wear when I go to bed to prevent the grinding. The dentist said it is probably stress-driven and made a remark that maybe during summer break I won't need it anymore. Funny, and yet not funny at the same time.

I've been practicing so many mindfulness and mindset techniques to help with stress and anxiety that I face during the day. But how do I take control of it when I'm asleep?

Now Spinning: 
The Who - Meaty Beaty Big And Bouncy

"I'm looking for me
You're looking for you
We're looking in at each other
And we don't know what to do"
lyrics from "The Seeker"
Songwriter: Peter Townshend 

I thought this album was perfect to spin tonight for a few reasons. One being that there are so many amazing "The Who" hits compiled here. This is one that I can listen to straight through from beginning to end without skipping a track. If you recall, a couple evenings ago I played music and I focused on the instruments and melody. But tonight I'm focusing on lyrics. 

"The Seeker" really resonates with me this evening. It is crazy how music and lyrics work. I can listen to a song and it can mean one thing to me. But then you can go ahead and listen to the same song and you take it to mean something completely different. Only the songwriters know the TRUE meaning of each song they create. However, does that make our own different interpretations wrong? If we asked them, I don't think they would think so. That's the beautiful thing about art. Paintings are art that reaches our souls through our eyes. Music is art that reaches our souls through our ears.

I'm interpreting this song this evening as seeking things that are out of our reach. Things that no one else can help us find. This evening I'm seeking answers that only I can find for myself. I obviously need to figure out on a subconscious level what needs to be done to stop grinding my teeth at night. I need to figure out how to keep my energy shield up while I'm asleep...how to keep it up subconsciously. I'm seeking restful nights of sound sleep in bed where I'm not waking up at 3:30am daily with a clenched jaw.

I looked up some meditation videos on YouTube specifically for grinding teeth and found a few that are long enough that I should fall asleep before it ending. This is what I think I need. Maybe this will help me get some clarity subconsciously. 

Have you tried any meditation videos before for sleep? If so, please share your experiences in the comments as well as links if they are available! 

I will keep you posted on my bedtime meditations. So stick around on my blogging journey! We can all work together to achieve ultimate mental wellness.

After School Unwind Session: "...gonna let your hair hang down..."

 Every take a bath and feel like you're being watched?

This evening I treated myself to a relaxing salt bath to wash away any troubles, stress, and anxiety down the drain. I've discussed this in a previous blog post...water is so healing. But I have one thing to admit, I had a glass of wine to take my relaxing bath up another notch. The whole time that drain plate watched me with those eyes full of judgement. AS IF! I had a stressful day and deserve every second of this! I'm not going on a guilt trip tonight!

Today was nonstop as I taught my students virtually in Google Meet sessions while also trying gather materials and supplies together for their virtual supply pick up. We just recently switched back to full virtual learning. So, I'll be teaching from home and students will be learning from home until mid-January the earliest.

I had so much to do that when I finally got home after 4:00, I realized I didn't even PEE today! This isn't the first time that has happened and I know it won't be the last. My doctor actually informed me that teachers and nurses are the number one professions he sees as patients coming into his office with UTIs. I believe it! (I better remember to drink plenty of cranberry juice tonight...someone remind me please!)

So tonight I didn't spin any vinyl (yet). Instead, I played some Led Zeppelin ballads from my phone as I soaked in the tub and meditated.

Tonight's Led Zeppelin Salt Bath Playlist:

• "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You"
• "I Can't Quit You Baby"
• "Thank You"
• "Since I've Been Loving You"
• "Tangerine"
• "That's The Way"
• "The Rain Song"

Yes, it was a long bath. No shame in my game. It was much needed. 

As I closed my eyes, meditated and listened to the music, I realized that there are certain days that I listen mainly for the lyrics and then there are days that I listen for the melody and instruments. Today, I was definitely focusing on the melody and instruments. I had the music loud enough that I could almost see each string being plucked. I visualized the tambourine vibrations. It was so grounding for me. 

I'm going to start making it at weekly habit of taking a salt bath with music after work. It is so good for the soul. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself right now, "I don't have TIME to take baths!" I'm sure you have a very busy schedule with children and family to take care of. But if it is something that might help you after a long, stressful day, don't you think you should at least try to make a plan to squeeze in even 10 minutes, once a week? 

Ask yourself this question: "Do I deserve it?"

I'm sure you already know that answer.

🎵"These are the seasons of emotion

And like the wind, they rise and fall

This is the wonder of devotion

I see the torch

We all must hold"🎵

-Led Zeppelin "The Rain Song"
Song writers: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant

"So I dig, deep in the belly of my soul"

Throughout the last few months, I have had an interest in learning more about Reiki and experiencing it firsthand. I've been practicing some of my own meditation and self care rituals, but I wanted to add a Reiki experience to my list of practices. So, today I went to my first Reiki session and it was better than I imagined. 

My Reiki master was very thorough. I was there for just slightly over two hours for the actually Reiki session and an intuitive reading afterwards that dug deep into my many layers and how to move forward. Best of all, she recorded the reading so I can hear her explanations again to remember things. She is also emailing me a report. I'm not going to go into all of the details of my reading, but I will share some of the highlights.

Who Am I?

If you have been following my blog, you may recall one of my latest blog posts that dug into the question of "Who Am I?" a little bit. It turns out that I need to do just that. According to my Reiki master, she said that right now I'm so full of what others expect me to be or what others think I am. But I need to dig down deep within myself to figure out what makes me ME. If you would have seen the look on my face!!! 

Another thing worth mentioning was that I'm supposed to be doing something BIGGER. What that is, I do not know. She asked me if I had any idea what it would be if I wasn't teaching. I told her about my passion for music and that I recently started a blog. She said that what I'm doing could be a stepping stone for something big to come. My energy field was just so huge and bright that it was "too big for my body and for what I'm doing in my life." 

She unveiled some of my fears that she got from the reading. I had mentioned to her that I am so full of anxiety sometimes that I don't even know where it is coming from. She found that I have a fear of not having enough time to do everything that I want and need to do. I also have a fear of failure. Both are true. I'm always rushing around, talking a mile a minute, as if there isn't enough time for everything. And yes, I'm always extremely hesitant of breaking out of my comfort zone for fear of failure.

The final thing from the reading that I want to share is that from my solar plexus down, she could not get any reading. There were no vibrations. I then shared with her that when I meditate, I visualize so vividly and I can feel its effects. However, my legs end up feeling like lead! She said I need to start doing some yoga to begin opening up those other chakras.

So....now what?!

I need use everything that I have gained from this reiki experiences to my benefit. But where to start? Well, I definitely need to come up with a plan:

• Get into a good yoga routine.
• Dig down deep to know and understand who I really am
• Find some good throat and heart chakra meditations to open them up even more
• When I start to feel the onset of anxiety arising, I need to face it head on and pick it apart to figure out what the actual trigger is. 

Life's Music Connection:

Now Playing: 

Maggie Koerner - "Dig Down Deep"

Album: Dig Down Deep EP

Let me introduce you to a powerhouse of a woman vocalist, Miss Maggie Koerner. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her live in Pompono Beach, Florida, back in April 2017. I remember the moment she opened her mouth to sing, the world around me stood still. I got chills. The only thing that existed at that moment in time was her voice and her lyrics. 

Maggie Koerner
CrawDebauchery Food and Music Festival
Pompano Beach, Florida
April 2017

Me and Maggie Koerner
World Cafe Live
Philadelphia, PA
September 18, 2019

Her music has really helped me through a lot since then. To be quite honest, I listen to her a lot at school after I put the children on their buses just to release any anxieties of the day. Certain artists speak to me. It's like they know what is going on in my head and their music is my antidote for any stress that I'm feeling.

So, the simple answer to many of my questions has been there all along. It was right in front of my face the entire time. It has been playing through my car, phone, and home speakers multiple days of the week. And yet I never REALLY listened to what Maggie was saying: 

"What do you say once in the light of day
What do you find once give in to time
So I did, so I dig, down in the belly of my soul
Dig down deep, deep deep deep
Deep in the belly where I lay"
-Maggie Koerner, "Dig Down Deep"

My Reiki master told me today that the reason I'm so exhausted is because I'm constantly trying to consciously figure things out within myself. That is what is draining all of the energy out of me. This whole time I thought I was exhausted from trying to block out negativity. The truth is, I need to stop trying to CONSCIOUSLY figure things out because it is deeper than that. Instead it needs to be done on a subconscious level. How? Maybe meditation. She even suggested using some singing bowls since I respond so well to music and sound.

I'm very glad I tried out Reiki today. The funny thing is, now that I am more aware of myself, my chakras, and my energy field, I have even more questions about myself. 

But, isn't that what always happens? Life can be such a puzzle sometimes. But I'll continue to piece together what makes me ME.

"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge"

Today started of fantastic! I sent some tweets out on my Twitter account to help get my blogging out. I also posted on my Facebook page, asking my followers what their go-to songs are that get them up and going in the morning. Some shared some fun songs that I listened to and pumped me up even more. I needed it for our last day of virtual school before Thanksgiving break!

Yesterday I reached out to the parents and asked them to share with me their child's and their own go-to songs to lift up their moods and make them happy. I plan on adding these songs to my Classroom Playlist that I keep on my Amazon Music account. I stream the songs for the students as they arrive in our Google Meet and wait for others to join. I was happy to see that one parent shared with me a song that their child loves. There is no foul language in the song, which is great. But there are a couple lyrics that may deem  "inappropriate."

I played the song when the child arrived in the Google Meet and his face lit up! I tried to end the song early enough before any lyrics that may be questionable. All of the students were bobbing their heads along to the music...it was adorable! I told the class that their one classmate (we will refer to him as "R") requested the song. So many of them said that they knew the song and loved it! I reminded them to have their parents send me a song that makes them happy so we can start off the day happy and upbeat. Mindset is everything when starting the day. If we are in the wrong mindset first thing in the morning, it will end up being a struggle for the rest of the day for ALL of us.

"R's" Requested Song: Post Malone & Swae Lee - "Sunflower (Spider-man - Into the Spider-verse)"

After enjoying "R's" song, I told them that I wanted to introduce them to a song that always makes me feel good. This song reminds me of summer and warms me up!

New Classroom Playlist Track: 

Surfaces - "Sunday Best"
Album: Surfaces - "Where The Light Is"

🎵"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge
All you gotta do is leave it better than you found it

It's gonna get difficult to stand, but hold your balance

I just say whatever 'cause there is no way around it"🎵

-Songwriters Forrest Frank and Colin Padalecki 

I told them to REALLY listen to the lyrics. I would like for all of you reading this to do the same. It has an incredible message. Surfaces' music always has a positive message. They never sing about anything negative. They use their music and their voices to lift you up. Their words are a good reminder to all of us to emit positivity and love with everything we do. No matter what life throws at us, we will get through it. We will all have our struggles, but it is part of life.

I connected this with everything that is going on in education during this pandemic. We are in school live, then we are virtual. Then some of us are back live on certain days of the week. Then we are all virtual again and we are trying to figure out our schedules. I'm trying to figure out how to meet with all of my students and meet all of their needs, but at the same time, not overwhelm them with too much screen time and work. I'm also trying to make sure I'm not overwhelming the parents.

The one thing that we all need to remember: Balance

Balance is important in everyone's lives right now. It's easy to forget to balance all aspects of your your life. Blogging has actually given me a better sense of balance. Before I started blogging, I would be doing school work until 9:00 at night. My life was completely unbalanced. It was all work. Sure, I'm a teacher. That's my job. But that is not ALL of me. That is not the ONLY thing that makes me who I am.

Who Am I?

Again, I am a teacher...but that is only one part of me. This picture shows how I ended my virtual learning today. But this is NOT all of me. I will not be sitting in front of my laptops all Thanksgiving break doing school work. It would be very easy to do. But being a teacher is not the only thing that makes me ME.

"Who am I?" This is a very important question to ask yourself in order to "rebalance" yourself. You are NOT just one thing. So many things make you "YOU." You should really take the time to think about it. Think deeply...down to the core of who you are. Only YOU have the ability to figure it out. Feel free to comment to this blog or on one of my social media pages where I share this blog post and tell us all about your journey in finding out who you are.

What I plan to do for the rest of the afternoon before heading to my parent's for Thanksgiving break is meditate and try to answer that question myself. I also think I'll stream the rest of that Surfaces album as well to keep this good mood and positive energy going.

Stay positive friends! Lots of love your way...

After School Unwind Session: "Thoughts arrive like butterflies"

This evening I wasn't quite sure which vinyl I was going to go with for my Unwind Session. Usually depending on what I'm feeling, I will know EXACTLY what to play. I find it in my collection (arranged alphabetically by artist), place it on the turn table, then hear that welcoming sound of needle against vinyl. This evening though, I wasn't sure what I was in the mood to listen to. I guess that makes sense because my brain just feels a little frazzled today. I feel like I'm an internet browser with 100 tabs open! It's one of my quirks. Or really, it's one of my flaws. My brain doesn't slow down. I think too much and usually I'm thinking of too many things all at once. Just this weekend when I was spending time with my family, my mother says to me "Did you hear ANYTHING I just told you?" and my response was "Huh? Oh, you were talking to me?" I really don't know how she has put up with me for 39 years!

Gotta Slow Down the Beat

So, I needed just relax first and clear my mind. One thing I like to do to slow down my thoughts is to close my eyes, focus on 5-5-5 breathing, and meditate, thinking of all of the things that I am grateful for at that moment. It grounds me and takes my mind off of the unimportant things clogging up my brain. It closes all of those browser tabs. After doing that for a little bit, I was finally able to choose a record to play.

Now Spinning: Pearl Jam - MTV Unplugged

Key Tracks: 

• "Black" - the lyrics and the melody are beyond beautiful and yet completely heart-wrenching. I cry every time I hear this song.
• "Porch" - solid closing song to their live set

Ok, so who is old enough to remember MTV when they actually played music? Ahhh, those were the days. And one of the best things they ever did were their Unplugged sessions. They had some great artists on there, such as Eric Clapton, Nirvana, and Bob Dylan. This NEEDS to come back, in some way, shape or form. Who knows, maybe it is back but I'm unaware of it because I don't watch enough TV! 

What I love about this album is how stripped down it is. It's still Pearl Jam, but a bare boned Pearl Jam in its purest form. Their ballads are even more moving (I usually prefer their ballads over their stronger and heavier songs). Even playing only acoustically, songs such as "State of Love and Trust," "Even Flow," and "Porch" still deliver a rush of adrenaline to your soul. I love how different every one of their songs sound from each other. The set list from this live show includes a variety of songs with different tempos and beats, and yet it just flows so fluidly.

My mind today was all over the place and chaotic. Between the breathing exercise, creating a mental gratitude list, and listening to this album, I'm starting to finally slow my brain down for the evening. 

What do you do when your brain feels like it's on overload? Feel free to share your techniques in the comments. I hope that maybe some techniques I used this evening and shared with you will help you in a time of need! If all else fails, reach out to someone. No matter what you trick yourself into believing, you are never alone in how you are feeling. You should always reach to someone...there is always someone there for you. Even if it's me, a random newbie blogger.

🎵"Hold on to the thread

the currents will shift

glide me towards you..."🎵

-Eddie Vedder