After School Unwind Session: "Move like a jellyfish"

Sometimes we need to just stop overthinking, planning, and worrying. Just go with the flow. In yesterday's blog post, I made a list of daily tasks to help my mind and body "reset." I thought it was a pretty solid list. I was able to check off a couple more things today than yesterday, which is a good start. However, my biggest success arrived last night when I was trying out a different meditation video. 

This meditation/hypnosis video was much better than the one I had on the night before. A man with a calming voice talks you through the meditation and hypnosis to help with jaw tension, clenching, and grinding. As I was relaxing and focusing on his words, there was a moment when I couldn't believe my ears. 

"...your self hypnosis will help you to safely relearn, retrain, and powerfully reset your body and your mind's habits with a much deeper sense of relief..."

RESET

It still amazes me how the universe knows exactly what we need.  By me blogging about how I wanted to "reset" my mind and body each day, I ended up putting it out into the universe. Then during the video I hear him saying that listening to this will help me "reset." I actually laughed out-loud. The universe brought it to me. All of that planning I did by creating that list...for nothing?!

No, not for nothing.

One video on YouTube is not the end all, be all. I still have to pay attention to what I'm doing during the day and break the bad habits and routines that I got myself wrapped up in. Don't get me wrong, the video was VERY helpful! I fell sound asleep before it even ended. The only negative thing I have to say about the video is that when it ended, a YouTube add came on immediately afterwards, which startled me out of my sleep since I had the volume up quite a bit to hear the calming background sounds during the meditation. So, that advertisement messed things up a bit, since I was using it to relax and get a good night's sleep! However, I did fall back to sleep shortly after and slept the whole night! It didn't "cure" my jaw pain. I still must have been clenching and grinding my teeth at some point during the night. But there definitely was a different in the quality of sleep that I got and the pain level in my jaw in the morning. 

Go With The Flow

So maybe I just need to go with the flow. I need to stop overthinking, over-planning, and worrying about things. Maybe I just need to give things some thought, then go with the flow to see what happens. It's always good to have a plan for anything in life. But, it's ok if we deviate from that plan a little. 

Tonight I'm listening to Jack Johnson. It's perfectly fitting because even though I have never met the guy, he seems like the most chill and laidback person ever. Listening to his music always puts me in a very calm, serene, and light mood. So, I'll follow his advise this evening and throughout the weekend:

"Move like a jellyfish,

Rhythm is nothing

You go with the flow

You don't stop"
Jack Johnson - "Bubble Toes"

Album: Brushfire Fairytales

Hmm...now that I think about it, reflecting on the day while listening to my music, I realize that I must have subconsciously known this morning what I was going to listen to tonight. I read to my class "Octopus's Garden" by Ringo Star and Illustrated by Ben Cort. Definitely a water theme going on today. I added this book to my Music Themed Children's Books list. 

So tonight, I'll be a jellyfish, just going with the flow, "in an Octopus's Garden in the shade." I'll try to just live life, enjoy every moment, and see where the current takes me, without over-thinking.

After School Unwind Session: "Making a list, checking it twice...three times...four times..."

Between school going all virtual, the upcoming holidays, and other things we will just put under the category of "Life," my anxieties were at high-level, code red today.

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

This was me this morning. I felt like I had a cold, I have all of the symptoms of a UTI (who DIDN'T see that coming?!), Google Meets were glitching up a storm, and no amount of music from our "Classroom Playlist" was helping me. I mean, look at the way the elf on the shelf was looking at me!

Poor little guy looks scared for his life and wants OUT! Maybe he will feel bad for me and tell Santa that I deserve lots of spa and liquor store gift cards if I am lucky!

Where is the RESET button?!

If life only had a reset button, things would be so much easier. I would have pressed that button this morning and started the day over. However, no such button exists. 

But, could one exist?

If you ask anyone who I work with, they will tell you I'm OCD. I don't throw terms around like that very easily. I have many of the signs of OCD. I just always try to be in control of it, such as making sure I say aloud to myself as I'm locking my front door, "Melissa, you are locking the door. There is no need to get back out of the car AGAIN to check to make sure you locked it." Another trait is that I have a TON of lists. I LOVE lists. I will always find an excuse to create a list! So maybe my "reset button" has to be a list.

Melissa's Daily Tasks To Complete In Order To
"Reset" And "Recharge" Everyday

 1. Start the day with yoga

 2. Morning cup of coffee

 3. Protein shake with added digestion support and fiber

 4. Drink 64 ounces of water

 5. Take multiple pee breaks

 6. Take computer breaks

 7. Eat lunch AND dinner...no more skipping meals!

 8. Blog/write while listening to music

 9. Read

10. Meditate

11. Wash

12. Rinse

13. Sleep

14. Repeat

Side note: I had to do some editing in my list a few times because it had to have an even number of tasks, and of course I couldn't finish with 13 items. Seriously...it's 2020 and I'm NOT taking any chances!

I wonder if I commit myself to completing this task list daily, it would work as a "reset" button every morning and every night? I won't know unless I test it out.

Even though most of the day is gone already and I barely checked ANYTHING off of the list so far, I will do my best to end the day strong. Last night I did try out one of the meditation videos to help with grinding my teeth at night. To be honest, it didn't do much of anything for me. I'm expecting more to come out of it. So, I will give a different video a try this evening. I'm not giving up until I figure out a way to enhance my mental wellness on a subconscious level.

To all of my fellow list-lovers out there, try making a list of tasks that could help your own mental well-being. Maybe this can be our own version of a reset button, with a sound start and end of each day, loaded with important tasks our brain and body needs in the middle. There is no perfect list.

I'll say that again louder for the people in the back: THERE IS NO PERFECT LIST! (I had to say it again louder for myself too, because I need to hear it.)

Just like writing, our body's needs and requirements constantly have to be proofread, revised, and edited. However, there will not be a final draft. 

I am a work in progress, and so are you.

In the meantime, I'm going to listen to the advise given by the Eagles, and "take it easy."

Now Spinning: Eagles - Their Greatest Hits

After School Unwind Session: "They Call Me The Seeker"

Opening Up

I'm going to be open and honest with all of you:
I'm usually more concerned and worried about others than myself. I worry about my students. But I have to understand that I'm doing everything that I can to make virtual learning non-stressful for them. I need to tell myself "The Kids Are Alright." 

But what about me? Am I alright?

I've been having to go to the dentist lately because my TMJ is acting up pretty severely. It turns out I'm grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw really bad at night. I've been on a soft food diet for over 2 weeks. Luckily, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, as well as wine, are "soft foods." Now I'm getting a night guard made to wear when I go to bed to prevent the grinding. The dentist said it is probably stress-driven and made a remark that maybe during summer break I won't need it anymore. Funny, and yet not funny at the same time.

I've been practicing so many mindfulness and mindset techniques to help with stress and anxiety that I face during the day. But how do I take control of it when I'm asleep?

Now Spinning: 
The Who - Meaty Beaty Big And Bouncy

"I'm looking for me
You're looking for you
We're looking in at each other
And we don't know what to do"
lyrics from "The Seeker"
Songwriter: Peter Townshend 

I thought this album was perfect to spin tonight for a few reasons. One being that there are so many amazing "The Who" hits compiled here. This is one that I can listen to straight through from beginning to end without skipping a track. If you recall, a couple evenings ago I played music and I focused on the instruments and melody. But tonight I'm focusing on lyrics. 

"The Seeker" really resonates with me this evening. It is crazy how music and lyrics work. I can listen to a song and it can mean one thing to me. But then you can go ahead and listen to the same song and you take it to mean something completely different. Only the songwriters know the TRUE meaning of each song they create. However, does that make our own different interpretations wrong? If we asked them, I don't think they would think so. That's the beautiful thing about art. Paintings are art that reaches our souls through our eyes. Music is art that reaches our souls through our ears.

I'm interpreting this song this evening as seeking things that are out of our reach. Things that no one else can help us find. This evening I'm seeking answers that only I can find for myself. I obviously need to figure out on a subconscious level what needs to be done to stop grinding my teeth at night. I need to figure out how to keep my energy shield up while I'm asleep...how to keep it up subconsciously. I'm seeking restful nights of sound sleep in bed where I'm not waking up at 3:30am daily with a clenched jaw.

I looked up some meditation videos on YouTube specifically for grinding teeth and found a few that are long enough that I should fall asleep before it ending. This is what I think I need. Maybe this will help me get some clarity subconsciously. 

Have you tried any meditation videos before for sleep? If so, please share your experiences in the comments as well as links if they are available! 

I will keep you posted on my bedtime meditations. So stick around on my blogging journey! We can all work together to achieve ultimate mental wellness.

After School Unwind Session: "...gonna let your hair hang down..."

 Every take a bath and feel like you're being watched?

This evening I treated myself to a relaxing salt bath to wash away any troubles, stress, and anxiety down the drain. I've discussed this in a previous blog post...water is so healing. But I have one thing to admit, I had a glass of wine to take my relaxing bath up another notch. The whole time that drain plate watched me with those eyes full of judgement. AS IF! I had a stressful day and deserve every second of this! I'm not going on a guilt trip tonight!

Today was nonstop as I taught my students virtually in Google Meet sessions while also trying gather materials and supplies together for their virtual supply pick up. We just recently switched back to full virtual learning. So, I'll be teaching from home and students will be learning from home until mid-January the earliest.

I had so much to do that when I finally got home after 4:00, I realized I didn't even PEE today! This isn't the first time that has happened and I know it won't be the last. My doctor actually informed me that teachers and nurses are the number one professions he sees as patients coming into his office with UTIs. I believe it! (I better remember to drink plenty of cranberry juice tonight...someone remind me please!)

So tonight I didn't spin any vinyl (yet). Instead, I played some Led Zeppelin ballads from my phone as I soaked in the tub and meditated.

Tonight's Led Zeppelin Salt Bath Playlist:

• "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You"
• "I Can't Quit You Baby"
• "Thank You"
• "Since I've Been Loving You"
• "Tangerine"
• "That's The Way"
• "The Rain Song"

Yes, it was a long bath. No shame in my game. It was much needed. 

As I closed my eyes, meditated and listened to the music, I realized that there are certain days that I listen mainly for the lyrics and then there are days that I listen for the melody and instruments. Today, I was definitely focusing on the melody and instruments. I had the music loud enough that I could almost see each string being plucked. I visualized the tambourine vibrations. It was so grounding for me. 

I'm going to start making it at weekly habit of taking a salt bath with music after work. It is so good for the soul. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself right now, "I don't have TIME to take baths!" I'm sure you have a very busy schedule with children and family to take care of. But if it is something that might help you after a long, stressful day, don't you think you should at least try to make a plan to squeeze in even 10 minutes, once a week? 

Ask yourself this question: "Do I deserve it?"

I'm sure you already know that answer.

🎵"These are the seasons of emotion

And like the wind, they rise and fall

This is the wonder of devotion

I see the torch

We all must hold"🎵

-Led Zeppelin "The Rain Song"
Song writers: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant

"So I dig, deep in the belly of my soul"

Throughout the last few months, I have had an interest in learning more about Reiki and experiencing it firsthand. I've been practicing some of my own meditation and self care rituals, but I wanted to add a Reiki experience to my list of practices. So, today I went to my first Reiki session and it was better than I imagined. 

My Reiki master was very thorough. I was there for just slightly over two hours for the actually Reiki session and an intuitive reading afterwards that dug deep into my many layers and how to move forward. Best of all, she recorded the reading so I can hear her explanations again to remember things. She is also emailing me a report. I'm not going to go into all of the details of my reading, but I will share some of the highlights.

Who Am I?

If you have been following my blog, you may recall one of my latest blog posts that dug into the question of "Who Am I?" a little bit. It turns out that I need to do just that. According to my Reiki master, she said that right now I'm so full of what others expect me to be or what others think I am. But I need to dig down deep within myself to figure out what makes me ME. If you would have seen the look on my face!!! 

Another thing worth mentioning was that I'm supposed to be doing something BIGGER. What that is, I do not know. She asked me if I had any idea what it would be if I wasn't teaching. I told her about my passion for music and that I recently started a blog. She said that what I'm doing could be a stepping stone for something big to come. My energy field was just so huge and bright that it was "too big for my body and for what I'm doing in my life." 

She unveiled some of my fears that she got from the reading. I had mentioned to her that I am so full of anxiety sometimes that I don't even know where it is coming from. She found that I have a fear of not having enough time to do everything that I want and need to do. I also have a fear of failure. Both are true. I'm always rushing around, talking a mile a minute, as if there isn't enough time for everything. And yes, I'm always extremely hesitant of breaking out of my comfort zone for fear of failure.

The final thing from the reading that I want to share is that from my solar plexus down, she could not get any reading. There were no vibrations. I then shared with her that when I meditate, I visualize so vividly and I can feel its effects. However, my legs end up feeling like lead! She said I need to start doing some yoga to begin opening up those other chakras.

So....now what?!

I need use everything that I have gained from this reiki experiences to my benefit. But where to start? Well, I definitely need to come up with a plan:

• Get into a good yoga routine.
• Dig down deep to know and understand who I really am
• Find some good throat and heart chakra meditations to open them up even more
• When I start to feel the onset of anxiety arising, I need to face it head on and pick it apart to figure out what the actual trigger is. 

Life's Music Connection:

Now Playing: 

Maggie Koerner - "Dig Down Deep"

Album: Dig Down Deep EP

Let me introduce you to a powerhouse of a woman vocalist, Miss Maggie Koerner. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her live in Pompono Beach, Florida, back in April 2017. I remember the moment she opened her mouth to sing, the world around me stood still. I got chills. The only thing that existed at that moment in time was her voice and her lyrics. 

Maggie Koerner
CrawDebauchery Food and Music Festival
Pompano Beach, Florida
April 2017

Me and Maggie Koerner
World Cafe Live
Philadelphia, PA
September 18, 2019

Her music has really helped me through a lot since then. To be quite honest, I listen to her a lot at school after I put the children on their buses just to release any anxieties of the day. Certain artists speak to me. It's like they know what is going on in my head and their music is my antidote for any stress that I'm feeling.

So, the simple answer to many of my questions has been there all along. It was right in front of my face the entire time. It has been playing through my car, phone, and home speakers multiple days of the week. And yet I never REALLY listened to what Maggie was saying: 

"What do you say once in the light of day
What do you find once give in to time
So I did, so I dig, down in the belly of my soul
Dig down deep, deep deep deep
Deep in the belly where I lay"
-Maggie Koerner, "Dig Down Deep"

My Reiki master told me today that the reason I'm so exhausted is because I'm constantly trying to consciously figure things out within myself. That is what is draining all of the energy out of me. This whole time I thought I was exhausted from trying to block out negativity. The truth is, I need to stop trying to CONSCIOUSLY figure things out because it is deeper than that. Instead it needs to be done on a subconscious level. How? Maybe meditation. She even suggested using some singing bowls since I respond so well to music and sound.

I'm very glad I tried out Reiki today. The funny thing is, now that I am more aware of myself, my chakras, and my energy field, I have even more questions about myself. 

But, isn't that what always happens? Life can be such a puzzle sometimes. But I'll continue to piece together what makes me ME.

"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge"

Today started of fantastic! I sent some tweets out on my Twitter account to help get my blogging out. I also posted on my Facebook page, asking my followers what their go-to songs are that get them up and going in the morning. Some shared some fun songs that I listened to and pumped me up even more. I needed it for our last day of virtual school before Thanksgiving break!

Yesterday I reached out to the parents and asked them to share with me their child's and their own go-to songs to lift up their moods and make them happy. I plan on adding these songs to my Classroom Playlist that I keep on my Amazon Music account. I stream the songs for the students as they arrive in our Google Meet and wait for others to join. I was happy to see that one parent shared with me a song that their child loves. There is no foul language in the song, which is great. But there are a couple lyrics that may deem  "inappropriate."

I played the song when the child arrived in the Google Meet and his face lit up! I tried to end the song early enough before any lyrics that may be questionable. All of the students were bobbing their heads along to the music...it was adorable! I told the class that their one classmate (we will refer to him as "R") requested the song. So many of them said that they knew the song and loved it! I reminded them to have their parents send me a song that makes them happy so we can start off the day happy and upbeat. Mindset is everything when starting the day. If we are in the wrong mindset first thing in the morning, it will end up being a struggle for the rest of the day for ALL of us.

"R's" Requested Song: Post Malone & Swae Lee - "Sunflower (Spider-man - Into the Spider-verse)"

After enjoying "R's" song, I told them that I wanted to introduce them to a song that always makes me feel good. This song reminds me of summer and warms me up!

New Classroom Playlist Track: 

Surfaces - "Sunday Best"
Album: Surfaces - "Where The Light Is"

🎵"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge
All you gotta do is leave it better than you found it

It's gonna get difficult to stand, but hold your balance

I just say whatever 'cause there is no way around it"🎵

-Songwriters Forrest Frank and Colin Padalecki 

I told them to REALLY listen to the lyrics. I would like for all of you reading this to do the same. It has an incredible message. Surfaces' music always has a positive message. They never sing about anything negative. They use their music and their voices to lift you up. Their words are a good reminder to all of us to emit positivity and love with everything we do. No matter what life throws at us, we will get through it. We will all have our struggles, but it is part of life.

I connected this with everything that is going on in education during this pandemic. We are in school live, then we are virtual. Then some of us are back live on certain days of the week. Then we are all virtual again and we are trying to figure out our schedules. I'm trying to figure out how to meet with all of my students and meet all of their needs, but at the same time, not overwhelm them with too much screen time and work. I'm also trying to make sure I'm not overwhelming the parents.

The one thing that we all need to remember: Balance

Balance is important in everyone's lives right now. It's easy to forget to balance all aspects of your your life. Blogging has actually given me a better sense of balance. Before I started blogging, I would be doing school work until 9:00 at night. My life was completely unbalanced. It was all work. Sure, I'm a teacher. That's my job. But that is not ALL of me. That is not the ONLY thing that makes me who I am.

Who Am I?

Again, I am a teacher...but that is only one part of me. This picture shows how I ended my virtual learning today. But this is NOT all of me. I will not be sitting in front of my laptops all Thanksgiving break doing school work. It would be very easy to do. But being a teacher is not the only thing that makes me ME.

"Who am I?" This is a very important question to ask yourself in order to "rebalance" yourself. You are NOT just one thing. So many things make you "YOU." You should really take the time to think about it. Think deeply...down to the core of who you are. Only YOU have the ability to figure it out. Feel free to comment to this blog or on one of my social media pages where I share this blog post and tell us all about your journey in finding out who you are.

What I plan to do for the rest of the afternoon before heading to my parent's for Thanksgiving break is meditate and try to answer that question myself. I also think I'll stream the rest of that Surfaces album as well to keep this good mood and positive energy going.

Stay positive friends! Lots of love your way...

After School Unwind Session: "Thoughts arrive like butterflies"

This evening I wasn't quite sure which vinyl I was going to go with for my Unwind Session. Usually depending on what I'm feeling, I will know EXACTLY what to play. I find it in my collection (arranged alphabetically by artist), place it on the turn table, then hear that welcoming sound of needle against vinyl. This evening though, I wasn't sure what I was in the mood to listen to. I guess that makes sense because my brain just feels a little frazzled today. I feel like I'm an internet browser with 100 tabs open! It's one of my quirks. Or really, it's one of my flaws. My brain doesn't slow down. I think too much and usually I'm thinking of too many things all at once. Just this weekend when I was spending time with my family, my mother says to me "Did you hear ANYTHING I just told you?" and my response was "Huh? Oh, you were talking to me?" I really don't know how she has put up with me for 39 years!

Gotta Slow Down the Beat

So, I needed just relax first and clear my mind. One thing I like to do to slow down my thoughts is to close my eyes, focus on 5-5-5 breathing, and meditate, thinking of all of the things that I am grateful for at that moment. It grounds me and takes my mind off of the unimportant things clogging up my brain. It closes all of those browser tabs. After doing that for a little bit, I was finally able to choose a record to play.

Now Spinning: Pearl Jam - MTV Unplugged

Key Tracks: 

• "Black" - the lyrics and the melody are beyond beautiful and yet completely heart-wrenching. I cry every time I hear this song.
• "Porch" - solid closing song to their live set

Ok, so who is old enough to remember MTV when they actually played music? Ahhh, those were the days. And one of the best things they ever did were their Unplugged sessions. They had some great artists on there, such as Eric Clapton, Nirvana, and Bob Dylan. This NEEDS to come back, in some way, shape or form. Who knows, maybe it is back but I'm unaware of it because I don't watch enough TV! 

What I love about this album is how stripped down it is. It's still Pearl Jam, but a bare boned Pearl Jam in its purest form. Their ballads are even more moving (I usually prefer their ballads over their stronger and heavier songs). Even playing only acoustically, songs such as "State of Love and Trust," "Even Flow," and "Porch" still deliver a rush of adrenaline to your soul. I love how different every one of their songs sound from each other. The set list from this live show includes a variety of songs with different tempos and beats, and yet it just flows so fluidly.

My mind today was all over the place and chaotic. Between the breathing exercise, creating a mental gratitude list, and listening to this album, I'm starting to finally slow my brain down for the evening. 

What do you do when your brain feels like it's on overload? Feel free to share your techniques in the comments. I hope that maybe some techniques I used this evening and shared with you will help you in a time of need! If all else fails, reach out to someone. No matter what you trick yourself into believing, you are never alone in how you are feeling. You should always reach to someone...there is always someone there for you. Even if it's me, a random newbie blogger.

🎵"Hold on to the thread

the currents will shift

glide me towards you..."🎵

-Eddie Vedder

"Time may change me, but I can't trace time..."

Today's Earworm: David Bowie - "Changes"

It's fitting, really. 

We had a last minute change yesterday afternoon. These two days that we have left of school this week before the break has changed to all-virtual. Today I was supposed to meet with my all-virtual students anyway. But, I just have to do it from home now instead, not from school. Tomorrow though, I'll have to meet with my kiddos who normally come in to school virtually instead of in the classroom. 

Do I like teaching virtually? NOPE. By the end of the school day, my eyes and head hurt from all the screen time. I do have blue light glasses and they help...but it's not a total cure/fix. I miss my classroom. I miss my kiddos. I miss my structure/routine. And as you can see, I miss my normal dining area in my house that has now become my classroom. Here is a selfie I took yesterday. This was taken at the end of the day:

Now, here is a picture of my "classroom" this morning:

Imagine trying to teach 6 year olds how to read and write VIRTUALLY. I'm not going to sugarcoat this one bit! It's nothing against them at all. In fact, I'm very proud of how hard they are all working during these unusual times. But there are certain things that just HAVE to be taught in person. Here I am, using my fingers to tap out the sounds of a word to help a child decode it.

Example: the word "cat:" pinch first finger to the thumb for /c/, middle finger to the thumb for /a/, ring finger to the thumb for /t/. 

Easy peasy? Nope, no easy peasy lemon squeezy here. Just picture it:

"No, not that finger! We start with our first finger. Point to your pointing finger. One sound for the first finger. /c/. No, don't say the whole word, just the first sound. Watch me. Wait, is that a TV that is on and you're watching it? Yes, I know you have a cat, but let's try to tap out the word to SPELL cat. No, wait, come back! I'll give you time to show me your cat later!"

The one perk right now? At least I don't have to wear a mask while teaching. YOU try teaching the /th/ sound to a child wearing a mask! Normally I direct their attention to my mouth so they can see my mouth formation: bite down slightly on your toungue with your front teeth, making a "tongue sandwich." Nope, they can't see it with my mask on in the classroom. And I can't see if they are making the sound correctly either since their masks are on. Sure I try to listen, but the /th/ and /f/ sounds are pretty similar and are commonly mixed up with the children at this age.

These poor kids and these poor parents! I've had so many reach out to me thanking ME for MY patience! But really, THEY are the real rock stars because they are pretty much becoming teachers themselves during virtual learning while I'm meeting with other students and they are required to do assignments and watch video lessons. So to all the parents out there reading this:

THANK YOU!

And not just my own students' parents. Parents of all young children who are learning virtually everywhere. You have no idea how grateful all of us are for your support! It would be a lot more difficult and stressful if it wasn't for you!

So what am I doing NOW to help my students AND my parents? I'm creating a class playlist. We have certain songs that I've introduced them to already. They can be found on my Classroom Playlist page. But now I'm wanting to hear more from the students and parents. I want to hear about the songs that make THEM smile and the songs that cheer them up when they're having a rough day. What I'm going to do is create an Amazon Music playlist of all of the kid appropriate songs they share and play them for the students and parents as they log into our daily Morning Meetings and wait for it to start. I want to start each day in a cheerful way and play music that resonates with them. I'm continuing to try to use music as therapy with my students, but ALSO with my parents.

This school year has been stressful on everyone...teachers, students, and parents. I'm just trying to make these times less strange for us and make us feel more at ease. We will "turn and face the strange..."

Now, off I go to the hair salon to get these gray hairs colored.

🎵"And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it."🎵

-David Bowie, "Changes"

After School Unwind Session: "Well, I've been thinking too much"

Today was not my finest. We are all allowed those kinds of days. But, just like I tell my students, we have to pay attention to how we react to things. Only WE can control how we react. Many things were setting different emotions off for me. But, I kept myself in check. I reminded myself that it's all about my mindset and I tried to keep my energy shield up, blocking out negative energy and only letting in the positive.

Now Spinning: 

Gary Clark Jr. - Live/North America 2016

Key lyric:
"This music is my healing
This music is my healing
Lord knows I need some healing
'Cause when this world upsets me
This music sets me free, yeah"
Gary Clark Jr. - "The Healing"

That lyric is absolutely perfect for me in this moment. And listening to this live album is exactly what I needed. As I listen to this album, it brings me back to the few times that I was able to see him live in concert. 

The first time I saw Gary Clark Jr. live, I was in awe. I heard some of his stuff before just from streaming music. This boy can play! He is bringing the blues back! It's been a long time since we have had some really good blues/blues rock. Think about it...has there been anyone in the last few decades that could really move you like B.B. King, Muddy Waters, or Robert Johnson? Robert Johnson passed before my time. Muddy Waters left this world when I was only 2 years old. But I was blessed enough to have had the chance to see B.B. King live. I went alone to this concert because it was last minute and I really didn't know of anyone who would be interesting in seeing him, Al Green, and Little Richard. (yes, it was as amazing as that lineup sounds!) 

Getting to see Gary Clark Jr. live was great because I could FINALLY see some good, live blues/rock of modern times. It was a phenomenal show. So, when the opportunity came around again to see him, I knew I had to go back for some more! I got a friend of mine to join me and really pumped him up on what to expect, how his mind will be blown away and how he will get all "the feels." I just couldn't wait to share this live experience with someone who never saw him live before!

Well, sadly, this show wasn't as good as the first for me. Honestly, it was a bit of a letdown. So much so that we left a little early just to beat the crowd and the traffic. I NEVER leave concerts early! It's not that it was a BAD show. It was just...meh. He was playing a lot of his brand new songs. Most of the songs all sounded the same to me. And I don't think the sound in the venue was the greatest that night as well.

I'm a concert junkie. So with as many concerts as I go to, there will of course be some let downs. 

The Takeaway
After listening, unwinding, and reflecting this evening, I have to realize that we all will have an off-day. We can't hold this high standards and high expectations and assume that each day will go smoothly. We will just let ourselves down. I'm not saying that we should have expectations and standards to live by each day and try to accomplish. However, we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves when things fail...or when we fail. We need to reflect and learn from it. We have to keep moving forward. 

We are the rock stars of our own shows. Only we can control how we live it, how we learn from it, and how we grow each and everyday. 

Even when we feel like the crowd is booing us, the show must go on.

"Gotta Keep Going...Keep Going...Keep Going...Keep Going..."

One would think that I would be used to wearing a mask by now!

I always keep spare masks in my car, one in my purse, one in my pocket, and the one I plan to wear to school on my face as I'm walking out my door first thing in the morning. After driving for only 2 minutes, I realized I had no masks on me. UGHHHHH...so I turned around and went back home. You may think it's no big deal. Luckily I was only 2 minutes away, right? Well, I live on the third floor of my condo and my parking spot isn't close to my entrance. Needless to say, I decided that was my cardio for the day! I got a ton of steps in AND my own personal stair master!

I introduced a new song to my first graders today that I haven't played for them yet.

Today's Track: The Revivalists - "Keep Going"

I told them that this song resonated with me today because I had a rough morning and just about felt defeated. But I have to keep going on with my day and keep pushing through any challenges that come my way. I played the song a couple times for them and they seemed to really enjoy it! I'm super psyched that I'm turning them into mini "RevHeads!" That is what we call our fan base for The Revivalists.

So, it was a nice learning experience for the children first thing in the morning. They also got to see that I am human and can get frustrated at times as well when things don't go as smoothly as like...even simply getting ready for school today caused some challenges for me. The important thing is to identify our feeling and then handle it in the appropriate way. I told them that I was feeling frustrated and defeated. I was upset with myself, thinking, "How could I be so forgetful?" But I turned around, got my mask, took some deep breaths, played my music, and kept going.

I think this was meant to happen. They always say things happen for a reason, right? Well, today we were scheduled to have our school counselor come in to our class to talk about feelings. It was PERFECT! It was as if I actually PLANNED on having the kind of morning that I did (TRUST ME...I would NEVER plan THAT kind of morning)! We learned more about chameleons. 

Fun Fact About Chameleons

Did you know that most chameleons change color NOT just to camouflage with their environment, but they change color based on what they are FEELING? This was VERY interesting to me! So we watched a video on YouTube of a chameleon changing color numerous times, but not changing to blend it. This video is a must watch! 

Then we all talked about feelings and colors that we may associate with them. She displayed this sign for the class as we reviewed the different feelings and colors. But she said that we might have different colors that we associate with a feeling, and that is ok. We learned to take deep, long, quiet breaths in through our noses and out through our mouths to calm down uncomfortable feelings. We discussed how it's ok if we feel a certain way...we are ALLOWED to feel how we feel. What is important is what we DO with those feelings and how we act. Only WE can control our reactions to things. We cannot blame others for how we behave.

Gotta Practice What I Preach

So, remember how frustrated I was this morning with how forgetful I was?! I even said numerous times, "This is the MONDAY-EST Monday EVER!"

I have to practice what I preach. I can't let a rough morning mess up my entire day. So, I kept going. And going...and going...and going....so much so that I decided to get more cardio in. I wasn't going to let that frustration decide FOR ME what my cardio routine was going to look like today! I spent my lunch walking with my amazing friends/coworkers, Melanie and Sarah. In reality, me forgetting my mask just pushed me to get more steps in today, which is never a bad thing. 

See, things always happen for a reason. 

"Singing about the good things and the sun that lights the day"

Ever notice how being around a body of water can feel so healing?

I spent this beautiful day walking the Ocean City Boardwalk with my mother. It felt so good being out with the sun beating down on our faces and breathing in the salt air. It's amazing what being near the ocean does for your soul.

Today's Track: Led Zeppelin - "The Ocean"

"Singing about the good things
and the sun that lights the day" 

- Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin)

I know the temperatures will soon be dropping as winter approaches. I mean, here in South Jersey, we already had some mornings that were only in the 20s! So, since today was going to be so gorgeous, I had to take advantage of it and  spend as much time as I could on my day off outside.

Walking the boardwalk and staring out into the ocean, it really got me thinking about all of the songs out there with water in the lyrics. There are a ton of songs out there about water! Some of my favorite include, but not limited to (in no particular order):

• Led Zeppelin - "The Rain Song"
• Led Zeppelin - "When The Levee Breaks"
• Led Zeppelin - "Fool In the Rain"
• Pearl Jam - "Oceans"
• Billie Eilish - "Ocean Eyes"
• Prince - "Purple Rain"
• The Talking Heads - "Once In a Lifetime"
• Incubus - "Aqueous Transmission"
• Simon & Garfunkel - "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
• Deep Purple - "Smoke on the Water"
• The Band - "Up On Cripple Creek"
• Ottis Redding - "(Sittin' On) "The Dock of the Bay"
• The Beatles - "Octopus's Garden"
• Toad the Wet Sprocket - "Walk on the Ocean"
• TLC - "Waterfalls"

Why write songs about water?

What draws a musician/song writer to write lyrics around the topic of water? This is what I have been pondering this afternoon. So of course when I got home I had to look up some things on the internet.

I found a great article shared by USA Today with a Q&A with marine biologist Wallace J. Nichols about his book, "Blue Mind." The book goes into how being around water brings people into a state of happiness and peacefulness. I just may have to check this book out someday after reading this article!

So, does even thinking about water and envisioning water bring us a sense of calmness and peace? Does it have those same affects on the songwriters when they are thinking of water as they write? Or...are they writing songs involving water to bring a sense of happiness and peace to us, the listeners? Maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing and it's just easy for them to write a song involving water because it just flows (insert comedic drum sound effect here).

What is your take on it? The reason is obviously different from artist to artist and from song to song. But I'd love to dive into this some more. (insert  another comedic drum sound effect here). And I would love to hear your thoughts on this as well. What are some of your favorite songs about water? Please comment with your favorites!

"Where's that confounded bridge?"

So now as I'm going back and rereading everything that I wrote, I noticed a trend in almost every song I listed above: they conjure up big emotions in me. I believe that is why some of those listed are my favorite songs of all time. Maybe that is the bridge that connects each of us to the song: songs about water can stir up emotions if written properly and with the right melody to back it.

So will listening to songs with water lyrics have similar effects on our souls and mentality as actually being by a body of water since it invokes so much emotion?

Something definitely to ponder over...

"...And A-Five, Six, Seven Eight..."

When I hear a count in at beginning of a song, my expectations are always high. You know the band is gonna bring it. Some examples:

• Outkast - "Hey Ya"
• The Beatles - "I Saw Her Standing There"
• Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs - "Wooly Bully"
• The Young Rascals - "Good Lovin'"

This morning on my way to work I was in the mood to listen to some Alabama Shakes. This one song that begins with "...and a-five, six, seven, eight..." came on had me bouncing all around. While sitting at the red light, I'm sure all of my bouncing and dancing was causing my stopped car to bounce and shake as well! The song instantly woke me up and put me in a good mood...so good that I had to replay it one more time on my short drive to school.

Today's Track: "The Greatest" by Alabama Shakes

Album: Sound and Color

After my virtual meeting this morning with the whole class, my five other students who are live with me are so used to our routine that they immediately walked towards the front of the room to begin Number Corner (calendar and other math skills). I told them I was going to change it up a bit. I wanted to get their blood pumping and make sure we were awake enough to start the day. So, I played the first half of the song for them (they were pretty upset with me that I ended the song before it was over, but I had to). They were a little sluggish at first. But when they saw me jumping around like a crazy person, dancing, and playing an incredible air guitar (I have quite the skills), they knew that I wasn't going to stop hounding on them until they joined in. They caved. Halfway through, they all had huge smiles on their faces, jumping around, and even trying to mimic my air guitar. 

It felt good to get that energy out with them. But there were some important things also that I wanted to show them:

• Yes, school can be fun. 
• No, teachers are not robots.
• Yes, teachers like to have fun and dance around the room too.
• No, we do not have to be so serious all of the time.
• Yes, it is important to dance like no one is watching sometimes and just let loose.
• No, we do not have to stick by a schedule and routine every single second of the day; it's ok to change it up.

In the classroom this year, I think it is extremely important to address students emotional and mental health. So many things have changed for my little 6-year-olds since March. Think about it...they didn't even have one full "normal" school year...ever! They don't really know what it's like! So, I'm trying to make things as "normal" as possible, but also bringing in some different components that you normally wouldn't see if you walked into a first grade classroom, like music therapy. We all need these mental breaks and emotional releases. Not just the children, but the teachers.

Don' worry, I did actually do some teaching today. 🤣😂

When you think about it, "5, 6, 7, 8" IS counting...so our jam session WAS cross curricular!

🎵😉🎵

After School Unwind Session: "People are strange..."

On this very chilly day, I need some good, classic music to warm me up. Today I was in the mood to listen to The Doors. I have a few of their albums, so it took some time to decide which one to go with. 

Now Spinning:
The Doors - Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mine (1972) Record Store Day Limited Edition on
Translucent Amber Vinyl (5,500 numbered copies)

What pushed me to this album today?

• The warm amber color of the vinyl
• Some of my favorite doors songs appear on this 2LP 
• It's been a while since I played this one

Honestly, I couldn't have gone wrong with any Doors album I chose. For me, the key tracks to this album are as follows:

• The Wasp (Texas Radio & The Big Beat) - there's just something about the beat to this song that I can never get enough of
• The End - talk about a goodbye song! Powerful and deep that may have many meanings
• L.A.Woman - this song is like a rollercoaster; I literally have to put the car in cruise control if it comes on because I'll end up speeding, then slowing down, then back to speeding again.
• Riders on the Storm - last song Morrison recorded, which makes it even more eerie

With only 4 men in the band and the use of only 3 instruments (guitar, keyboard, drums), they made it work! They didn't need a ton of instruments to give their music the depth, beauty, and complexity that we hear. It seems more often than not with today's music, bands need and want many members on a variety of instruments. Don't worry, I'm not knocking it! Some of my favorite bands have a long list of musicians and instruments on the stage and their music is amazing! But somehow, these 4 guys made a huge impact with simply a guitar, keyboard, and drums. That should speak volumes about their talent.

So where am I going with all of this? Well, I'm listening and reflecting as I write and a thought came to my mind:

They kept it simple with their instruments and created beautiful music, becoming successful. Can we apply that same concept to our everyday lives?

In today's society, it is so easy to get carried away with things. Need proof? Just look at social media! Everyone posts all of these wonderful things going on in their lives and they try to beef it up as much as they can. Gone are the days of simply taking a picture and praying it comes out nicely and not cutting off someone's head. Now, it is more like a competition to prove that our lives are better than anyone else's. I know, I know...most of us don't actually consciously think that. But think about it: why are people filtering their pictures, cropping them, and using other editing techniques? They want to fluff it up to make it seem as perfect as possible. By the time we are done fluffing it up, it looks almost NOTHING like the original! The same can be said about written posts with no pictures.

WHY do we need to fluff things up?

My opinion...society is making us that way. And that makes me very sad. Why can't we be happy with simple things? Please don't think I'm judging and throwing everyone into one big group. But do me a favor and scroll through your Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook...whatever you have. You will see more "fluffed up" and "bedazzled" posts and pictures than authentic and natural ones. For me it is mentally draining to scroll through anymore. It's either all bragging (which subconsciously makes us feel bad about ourselves) or it's tearing others apart (which just throws negative energy into our lives).

"Whoever controls the media controls the mind." 
- Jim Morrison

Back To The Basics

As a whole, I think we need to be more comfortable with who we are and what we do and be proud of every part of it...flaws and all. That's what makes us human. We need to have the confidence and the courage to be real and raw, like The Doors with their stripped down music (minus the drugs and addictions). That is where the real beauty is...not just with physical appearances, but in everything that we do.

So with all of that being said, I want to really start keeping things simple and real in my personal life and at work. I want to be more true to myself. I don't want to make myself crazy biting off more than I can chew, get attention, and try to live up to these horrible social media standards. I've already taken a giant step back from social media, which is a huge step and the first step in the process. Now I need to just take pride in who I am and focus on the simple things that make me happy, create positivity, and spread love and joy. 

That's it. 

The bare bones. 

The simple and raw me.

I hope that all of you will also appreciate the simple things as well and be proud of yourself for who you are and everything that you have accomplished in your life. You deserve it.

Love yourself...flaws and all.