After School Unwind Session: "They Call Me The Seeker"

Opening Up

I'm going to be open and honest with all of you:
I'm usually more concerned and worried about others than myself. I worry about my students. But I have to understand that I'm doing everything that I can to make virtual learning non-stressful for them. I need to tell myself "The Kids Are Alright." 

But what about me? Am I alright?

I've been having to go to the dentist lately because my TMJ is acting up pretty severely. It turns out I'm grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw really bad at night. I've been on a soft food diet for over 2 weeks. Luckily, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, as well as wine, are "soft foods." Now I'm getting a night guard made to wear when I go to bed to prevent the grinding. The dentist said it is probably stress-driven and made a remark that maybe during summer break I won't need it anymore. Funny, and yet not funny at the same time.

I've been practicing so many mindfulness and mindset techniques to help with stress and anxiety that I face during the day. But how do I take control of it when I'm asleep?

Now Spinning: 
The Who - Meaty Beaty Big And Bouncy

"I'm looking for me
You're looking for you
We're looking in at each other
And we don't know what to do"
lyrics from "The Seeker"
Songwriter: Peter Townshend 

I thought this album was perfect to spin tonight for a few reasons. One being that there are so many amazing "The Who" hits compiled here. This is one that I can listen to straight through from beginning to end without skipping a track. If you recall, a couple evenings ago I played music and I focused on the instruments and melody. But tonight I'm focusing on lyrics. 

"The Seeker" really resonates with me this evening. It is crazy how music and lyrics work. I can listen to a song and it can mean one thing to me. But then you can go ahead and listen to the same song and you take it to mean something completely different. Only the songwriters know the TRUE meaning of each song they create. However, does that make our own different interpretations wrong? If we asked them, I don't think they would think so. That's the beautiful thing about art. Paintings are art that reaches our souls through our eyes. Music is art that reaches our souls through our ears.

I'm interpreting this song this evening as seeking things that are out of our reach. Things that no one else can help us find. This evening I'm seeking answers that only I can find for myself. I obviously need to figure out on a subconscious level what needs to be done to stop grinding my teeth at night. I need to figure out how to keep my energy shield up while I'm asleep...how to keep it up subconsciously. I'm seeking restful nights of sound sleep in bed where I'm not waking up at 3:30am daily with a clenched jaw.

I looked up some meditation videos on YouTube specifically for grinding teeth and found a few that are long enough that I should fall asleep before it ending. This is what I think I need. Maybe this will help me get some clarity subconsciously. 

Have you tried any meditation videos before for sleep? If so, please share your experiences in the comments as well as links if they are available! 

I will keep you posted on my bedtime meditations. So stick around on my blogging journey! We can all work together to achieve ultimate mental wellness.

"I keep my sunny side up"

Ever think to yourself "Wow, today has been such a good day! Everything is going so smoothly!" But then wonder "ok, it's too good to be true. Something is BOUND to happen!"

MINDSET

Mindset is everything. Today went so smoothly with our full virtual learning from home. My students, along with their parents and siblings, seem to really be enjoying listening to our classroom playlist as they wait for the Google Meet to start! Not only did the MUSIC lift me up this morning, but seeing the students and their family members smiling, bobbing their heads, and even dancing around made my heart smile! I was on cloud nine! The whole day went so smoothly with this brand new schedule. Shout out to my rock star parents who are going with the flow and easing into this routine with me!

Of course there were some of the usual hiccups that go hand in hand with virtual learning, such as Google Meet glitches, televisions on in the background and children being distracted by it and watching it instead of me. And we can't leave out that face that I feel like a "broken record" repeating "PLEASE mute yourself!" about 50 times. But other than that, it was great!

I'm training my brain to keep focusing on the positive. I'm breaking myself of the habit of thinking "yea, but it's too good to be true...I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop." Why is this so important to not fall down that slippery slope?

We create the energy around us. 

If we think positively, we will attract positive things into our lives. If we have negative thoughts, we will attract negative things into our lives. Now, don't go thinking "I'm going to win the lottery tonight!" and then expect that to happen, then get all upset with me if you don't win! Trust me, if I won the lottery every time I thought positively about it, I would be retired by now at an early age and probably living someplace warm!

Just start changing your mindset. Change the negative thoughts into positive thoughts. It isn't easy. But the first step is to be able to recognize when you have negative thoughts. Be more aware of your thinking. No one is perfect. A negative thought usually will sneak its way into my mind every day. But when it DOES happen, we need to address it and turn it into something positive.

I'm sure you all have said "UGH I'm so tired this morning! I want to stay in bed and not go to work! Why isn't it the weekend yet..."

Change your mindset and think "I'm grateful for the sleep that I got last night. I'm blessed that I have a job, and soon enough I will have a day off to sleep in and spend time with my family."

So right now, I'm very grateful for the day that I had with my students virtually. I'm focusing on that and being positive that the rest of my day will just like that, or even BETTER! I have my energy shield up and activated, blocking all of those negative thoughts that try to come my way.

I know, I know...this all seems like such a big shift to make in your thinking. But trust me, creating this shift will open you up to a more positive day to day life for you and those around you.

I want my students to start becoming more aware of their mindset as well. I think tomorrow I'll introduce them to this song and add it to our Classroom Playlist:

Surfaces - "Sunny Side Up"

🎵"I keep my sunny side up

So they can see me from above

I keep my sunny side up, oh

No more running from the love

Ooh, I keep my sunny side up

You keep your sunny side up

We keep our sunny sides up"🎵

Songwriters - Forrest Frank/Colin Padalecki

"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge"

Today started of fantastic! I sent some tweets out on my Twitter account to help get my blogging out. I also posted on my Facebook page, asking my followers what their go-to songs are that get them up and going in the morning. Some shared some fun songs that I listened to and pumped me up even more. I needed it for our last day of virtual school before Thanksgiving break!

Yesterday I reached out to the parents and asked them to share with me their child's and their own go-to songs to lift up their moods and make them happy. I plan on adding these songs to my Classroom Playlist that I keep on my Amazon Music account. I stream the songs for the students as they arrive in our Google Meet and wait for others to join. I was happy to see that one parent shared with me a song that their child loves. There is no foul language in the song, which is great. But there are a couple lyrics that may deem  "inappropriate."

I played the song when the child arrived in the Google Meet and his face lit up! I tried to end the song early enough before any lyrics that may be questionable. All of the students were bobbing their heads along to the music...it was adorable! I told the class that their one classmate (we will refer to him as "R") requested the song. So many of them said that they knew the song and loved it! I reminded them to have their parents send me a song that makes them happy so we can start off the day happy and upbeat. Mindset is everything when starting the day. If we are in the wrong mindset first thing in the morning, it will end up being a struggle for the rest of the day for ALL of us.

"R's" Requested Song: Post Malone & Swae Lee - "Sunflower (Spider-man - Into the Spider-verse)"

After enjoying "R's" song, I told them that I wanted to introduce them to a song that always makes me feel good. This song reminds me of summer and warms me up!

New Classroom Playlist Track: 

Surfaces - "Sunday Best"
Album: Surfaces - "Where The Light Is"

🎵"Every day can be a better day, despite the challenge
All you gotta do is leave it better than you found it

It's gonna get difficult to stand, but hold your balance

I just say whatever 'cause there is no way around it"🎵

-Songwriters Forrest Frank and Colin Padalecki 

I told them to REALLY listen to the lyrics. I would like for all of you reading this to do the same. It has an incredible message. Surfaces' music always has a positive message. They never sing about anything negative. They use their music and their voices to lift you up. Their words are a good reminder to all of us to emit positivity and love with everything we do. No matter what life throws at us, we will get through it. We will all have our struggles, but it is part of life.

I connected this with everything that is going on in education during this pandemic. We are in school live, then we are virtual. Then some of us are back live on certain days of the week. Then we are all virtual again and we are trying to figure out our schedules. I'm trying to figure out how to meet with all of my students and meet all of their needs, but at the same time, not overwhelm them with too much screen time and work. I'm also trying to make sure I'm not overwhelming the parents.

The one thing that we all need to remember: Balance

Balance is important in everyone's lives right now. It's easy to forget to balance all aspects of your your life. Blogging has actually given me a better sense of balance. Before I started blogging, I would be doing school work until 9:00 at night. My life was completely unbalanced. It was all work. Sure, I'm a teacher. That's my job. But that is not ALL of me. That is not the ONLY thing that makes me who I am.

Who Am I?

Again, I am a teacher...but that is only one part of me. This picture shows how I ended my virtual learning today. But this is NOT all of me. I will not be sitting in front of my laptops all Thanksgiving break doing school work. It would be very easy to do. But being a teacher is not the only thing that makes me ME.

"Who am I?" This is a very important question to ask yourself in order to "rebalance" yourself. You are NOT just one thing. So many things make you "YOU." You should really take the time to think about it. Think deeply...down to the core of who you are. Only YOU have the ability to figure it out. Feel free to comment to this blog or on one of my social media pages where I share this blog post and tell us all about your journey in finding out who you are.

What I plan to do for the rest of the afternoon before heading to my parent's for Thanksgiving break is meditate and try to answer that question myself. I also think I'll stream the rest of that Surfaces album as well to keep this good mood and positive energy going.

Stay positive friends! Lots of love your way...

"Time may change me, but I can't trace time..."

Today's Earworm: David Bowie - "Changes"

It's fitting, really. 

We had a last minute change yesterday afternoon. These two days that we have left of school this week before the break has changed to all-virtual. Today I was supposed to meet with my all-virtual students anyway. But, I just have to do it from home now instead, not from school. Tomorrow though, I'll have to meet with my kiddos who normally come in to school virtually instead of in the classroom. 

Do I like teaching virtually? NOPE. By the end of the school day, my eyes and head hurt from all the screen time. I do have blue light glasses and they help...but it's not a total cure/fix. I miss my classroom. I miss my kiddos. I miss my structure/routine. And as you can see, I miss my normal dining area in my house that has now become my classroom. Here is a selfie I took yesterday. This was taken at the end of the day:

Now, here is a picture of my "classroom" this morning:

Imagine trying to teach 6 year olds how to read and write VIRTUALLY. I'm not going to sugarcoat this one bit! It's nothing against them at all. In fact, I'm very proud of how hard they are all working during these unusual times. But there are certain things that just HAVE to be taught in person. Here I am, using my fingers to tap out the sounds of a word to help a child decode it.

Example: the word "cat:" pinch first finger to the thumb for /c/, middle finger to the thumb for /a/, ring finger to the thumb for /t/. 

Easy peasy? Nope, no easy peasy lemon squeezy here. Just picture it:

"No, not that finger! We start with our first finger. Point to your pointing finger. One sound for the first finger. /c/. No, don't say the whole word, just the first sound. Watch me. Wait, is that a TV that is on and you're watching it? Yes, I know you have a cat, but let's try to tap out the word to SPELL cat. No, wait, come back! I'll give you time to show me your cat later!"

The one perk right now? At least I don't have to wear a mask while teaching. YOU try teaching the /th/ sound to a child wearing a mask! Normally I direct their attention to my mouth so they can see my mouth formation: bite down slightly on your toungue with your front teeth, making a "tongue sandwich." Nope, they can't see it with my mask on in the classroom. And I can't see if they are making the sound correctly either since their masks are on. Sure I try to listen, but the /th/ and /f/ sounds are pretty similar and are commonly mixed up with the children at this age.

These poor kids and these poor parents! I've had so many reach out to me thanking ME for MY patience! But really, THEY are the real rock stars because they are pretty much becoming teachers themselves during virtual learning while I'm meeting with other students and they are required to do assignments and watch video lessons. So to all the parents out there reading this:

THANK YOU!

And not just my own students' parents. Parents of all young children who are learning virtually everywhere. You have no idea how grateful all of us are for your support! It would be a lot more difficult and stressful if it wasn't for you!

So what am I doing NOW to help my students AND my parents? I'm creating a class playlist. We have certain songs that I've introduced them to already. They can be found on my Classroom Playlist page. But now I'm wanting to hear more from the students and parents. I want to hear about the songs that make THEM smile and the songs that cheer them up when they're having a rough day. What I'm going to do is create an Amazon Music playlist of all of the kid appropriate songs they share and play them for the students and parents as they log into our daily Morning Meetings and wait for it to start. I want to start each day in a cheerful way and play music that resonates with them. I'm continuing to try to use music as therapy with my students, but ALSO with my parents.

This school year has been stressful on everyone...teachers, students, and parents. I'm just trying to make these times less strange for us and make us feel more at ease. We will "turn and face the strange..."

Now, off I go to the hair salon to get these gray hairs colored.

🎵"And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it."🎵

-David Bowie, "Changes"

After School Unwind Session: "Well, I've been thinking too much"

Today was not my finest. We are all allowed those kinds of days. But, just like I tell my students, we have to pay attention to how we react to things. Only WE can control how we react. Many things were setting different emotions off for me. But, I kept myself in check. I reminded myself that it's all about my mindset and I tried to keep my energy shield up, blocking out negative energy and only letting in the positive.

Now Spinning: 

Gary Clark Jr. - Live/North America 2016

Key lyric:
"This music is my healing
This music is my healing
Lord knows I need some healing
'Cause when this world upsets me
This music sets me free, yeah"
Gary Clark Jr. - "The Healing"

That lyric is absolutely perfect for me in this moment. And listening to this live album is exactly what I needed. As I listen to this album, it brings me back to the few times that I was able to see him live in concert. 

The first time I saw Gary Clark Jr. live, I was in awe. I heard some of his stuff before just from streaming music. This boy can play! He is bringing the blues back! It's been a long time since we have had some really good blues/blues rock. Think about it...has there been anyone in the last few decades that could really move you like B.B. King, Muddy Waters, or Robert Johnson? Robert Johnson passed before my time. Muddy Waters left this world when I was only 2 years old. But I was blessed enough to have had the chance to see B.B. King live. I went alone to this concert because it was last minute and I really didn't know of anyone who would be interesting in seeing him, Al Green, and Little Richard. (yes, it was as amazing as that lineup sounds!) 

Getting to see Gary Clark Jr. live was great because I could FINALLY see some good, live blues/rock of modern times. It was a phenomenal show. So, when the opportunity came around again to see him, I knew I had to go back for some more! I got a friend of mine to join me and really pumped him up on what to expect, how his mind will be blown away and how he will get all "the feels." I just couldn't wait to share this live experience with someone who never saw him live before!

Well, sadly, this show wasn't as good as the first for me. Honestly, it was a bit of a letdown. So much so that we left a little early just to beat the crowd and the traffic. I NEVER leave concerts early! It's not that it was a BAD show. It was just...meh. He was playing a lot of his brand new songs. Most of the songs all sounded the same to me. And I don't think the sound in the venue was the greatest that night as well.

I'm a concert junkie. So with as many concerts as I go to, there will of course be some let downs. 

The Takeaway
After listening, unwinding, and reflecting this evening, I have to realize that we all will have an off-day. We can't hold this high standards and high expectations and assume that each day will go smoothly. We will just let ourselves down. I'm not saying that we should have expectations and standards to live by each day and try to accomplish. However, we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves when things fail...or when we fail. We need to reflect and learn from it. We have to keep moving forward. 

We are the rock stars of our own shows. Only we can control how we live it, how we learn from it, and how we grow each and everyday. 

Even when we feel like the crowd is booing us, the show must go on.

"Gotta Keep Going...Keep Going...Keep Going...Keep Going..."

One would think that I would be used to wearing a mask by now!

I always keep spare masks in my car, one in my purse, one in my pocket, and the one I plan to wear to school on my face as I'm walking out my door first thing in the morning. After driving for only 2 minutes, I realized I had no masks on me. UGHHHHH...so I turned around and went back home. You may think it's no big deal. Luckily I was only 2 minutes away, right? Well, I live on the third floor of my condo and my parking spot isn't close to my entrance. Needless to say, I decided that was my cardio for the day! I got a ton of steps in AND my own personal stair master!

I introduced a new song to my first graders today that I haven't played for them yet.

Today's Track: The Revivalists - "Keep Going"

I told them that this song resonated with me today because I had a rough morning and just about felt defeated. But I have to keep going on with my day and keep pushing through any challenges that come my way. I played the song a couple times for them and they seemed to really enjoy it! I'm super psyched that I'm turning them into mini "RevHeads!" That is what we call our fan base for The Revivalists.

So, it was a nice learning experience for the children first thing in the morning. They also got to see that I am human and can get frustrated at times as well when things don't go as smoothly as like...even simply getting ready for school today caused some challenges for me. The important thing is to identify our feeling and then handle it in the appropriate way. I told them that I was feeling frustrated and defeated. I was upset with myself, thinking, "How could I be so forgetful?" But I turned around, got my mask, took some deep breaths, played my music, and kept going.

I think this was meant to happen. They always say things happen for a reason, right? Well, today we were scheduled to have our school counselor come in to our class to talk about feelings. It was PERFECT! It was as if I actually PLANNED on having the kind of morning that I did (TRUST ME...I would NEVER plan THAT kind of morning)! We learned more about chameleons. 

Fun Fact About Chameleons

Did you know that most chameleons change color NOT just to camouflage with their environment, but they change color based on what they are FEELING? This was VERY interesting to me! So we watched a video on YouTube of a chameleon changing color numerous times, but not changing to blend it. This video is a must watch! 

Then we all talked about feelings and colors that we may associate with them. She displayed this sign for the class as we reviewed the different feelings and colors. But she said that we might have different colors that we associate with a feeling, and that is ok. We learned to take deep, long, quiet breaths in through our noses and out through our mouths to calm down uncomfortable feelings. We discussed how it's ok if we feel a certain way...we are ALLOWED to feel how we feel. What is important is what we DO with those feelings and how we act. Only WE can control our reactions to things. We cannot blame others for how we behave.

Gotta Practice What I Preach

So, remember how frustrated I was this morning with how forgetful I was?! I even said numerous times, "This is the MONDAY-EST Monday EVER!"

I have to practice what I preach. I can't let a rough morning mess up my entire day. So, I kept going. And going...and going...and going....so much so that I decided to get more cardio in. I wasn't going to let that frustration decide FOR ME what my cardio routine was going to look like today! I spent my lunch walking with my amazing friends/coworkers, Melanie and Sarah. In reality, me forgetting my mask just pushed me to get more steps in today, which is never a bad thing. 

See, things always happen for a reason. 

“All You Need Is Love”

Remember last week’s project I did with the kids that involved tracing their hands to put in rulers so we can give distance hugs and high fives? Well, I was super excited to do that project with today’s group of students (I only did it with my Thursday/Friday group). They were just as excited about finally being able to give hugs!

Not only did I play the song “Everyday” by the Dave Matthews Band, but I also played the infamous Beatles song. 

Today’s Track: “All You Need Is Love” by The Beatles

I also held up the boom “All You Need is Love” that I read to them in September and they immediately made the connection. They really enjoyed the song and the meaning behind it. 

As much as I love playing music in the classroom, I have to be careful and make sure I don’t play anything with lyrics while they are working. Listening to lyrics being sung could end up backfiring and cause them to focus more on the song and not their work, ESPECIALLY while writing. Let’s be real...I would end up singing along instead of writing my story that I’m supposed to be working on! But there is a very easy remedy to get the best of both worlds with work completion AND listening to and enjoying music. 

Classical music. 

I took 10 years of dance...primarily ballet. So I love listening to classical music still to this day. But you’re probably thinking “yea, ok. But what 6 year old child wants to listen to classical music?” Well, you would be surprised. 

Please, if you take away one thing from today’s blog, I hope it’s this: listen to The Vitamin String Quartet. Like the sound piano more? Check out The Piano Guys. But for now, let me focus on The Vitamin String Quartet. Think of your favorite singer/band. Got it? Ok...well guess what? The Vitamin String Quartet probably has an album made of their music or at least a song. They range from Aerosmith to Zeppelin. Not just classic rock either! Metallica, The Cure, Eminem, Gorillaz, and yes, even Kanye West. 

Why do I love playing this while the children are reading and writing? I get to jam out to some of my favorite artists and songs, not be afraid whether or not the lyrics are kid appropriate since there are no lyrics at all, and the kids LOVE it! They will always chime in and say “hey, wait! I know this song!” And I’ll say “yes, that’s an Imagine Dragons song!” So today, we got to listen to more Beatles songs while we read and completed our writing assignment thanks to The Vitamin String Quartet!

We want these kids to feel excited about school. I don’t want them to ever feel bored in my class. I have to play to their interests as well as my own to make the classroom environment comfortable, fun, and exciting. Music brings that all together. 

🎵 “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be, it easy...all you need is love...”🎵 -The Beatles

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"

Do you ever hear a song that immediately brings you back to a specific time and place in your life? You may have quite a few songs that do that to you! If you have the desire to read up on WHY that happens, check out this article by Tiffany Jenkins (the brain is so fascinating to me!). 

Today as I was watching football with the family, a commercial came on that brought me back in time to my first year teaching.

Today's Track: "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

You might be wondering why on earth a 1967 Motown love song reminds me of my first year teaching. Well, hop into my time machine so I can take you back to 2003...

September 2003...I was 22 years old...just a baby and fresh out of college! I taught third grade in Atlantic City, NJ my first year teaching and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Literally...my first day there to set up my room, I had to ask administration exactly what grade did they hired me for because no one even told me!

It was a very tough year, to say the least. I'm sure there are more teachers than not that could say that they questioned their career path their first year teaching. I questioned it every day. These kids pushed me. I honestly didn't think I was going to last the school year without resigning or having a nervous break down. I dealt with a variety of behavioral issues, broke up fights, all while trying to make my classroom a "safe place" for my kids. Yes, I STILL call them "my kids." I know they came from so many different backgrounds, family dynamics, and economic statuses. But to me, they were all just third graders who I knew really needed me. And I needed them.

I'm not stupid. I know quite a few of them were trying to scare me away. They probably took one look at me that first day and placed bets on how long I would last! We had "classroom grandmas" who came and volunteered in classrooms to help out. I knew I was in over my head when my classroom grandma left me in the dust after 2 weeks. 

I would call my mother daily, usually in tears, telling her how I managed to survive another day. And she would call me every morning to make sure I got myself into my car and drive back to school for another day of teaching. Well, one morning on my drive in, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" came on my iPhone's shuffle. I listened to it with a different set of ears. I knew these kids needed me, no matter how high they built their walls around them or how hard they pushed me away. I knew I had to do whatever it took to get to them. If I reached ONE child, it was an accomplishment in my mind. 

So picture this young, too-skinny white girl with no rhythm blasting this song for the kids and telling them to listen to the lyrics as I sang and danced around the room. Of course they thought I finally lost my mind. To their credit, I probably did. But I was determined to get them to let their walls down. I told them that I was here for THEM. There was a reason that I got this job as my first teaching job right out of college. It was what I was meant to do in that moment in time and nothing was going to stop me from being there for them, no matter how hard they pushed me away. 

I started staying after school to reteach everything from the day for any student who wanted to stay since we had so many disruptions due to behaviors. Soon, I was having my regulars show up. Then some of my regulars had their siblings younger and older hang out with us as well. It wasn't all academics. We talked about whatever was on their minds.

One day one of my students came in so excited because his mom got that evening off and was going to be home for dinner and they had a nice meal all planned out to have all together with the family. I was so happy for him because his mom worked crazy shifts at the casinos and she usually wasn't home for dinner. Well, it turned out that she ended up getting called in to cover for someone. He was heartbroken. I called her up and asked her if I could take him and his siblings for pizza. Of course she at first told me that it was not necessary. But I told her that I wanted to do something special for her and for her kids. She was a hard working mom and these kids have been staying after school to try to keep their grades up. So she gave in. You would have thought that I gave these kids a million dollars! I was so proud of them sitting there, tucking their napkins into their shirts, and using the manners that I kept trying to instill in them. 

These "kids" are now 26 years old. Teachers don't realize how old they are until they hear how old their former students are! I'm friends with that child and his siblings on social media and it was just his birthday. So I wished him a happy birthday. Can you believe he STILL remembers that day!

Throughout that year, we listened to the song and sang the song as a reminder that I wasn't giving up on them and that I didn't want them to give up on me. It slowly became our classroom theme song.

So today, when I heard that song play on a commercial, my heart swelled up and I was taken back to that first year of my career. Now I'm in my 18th year of teaching. I still think of those "kids" daily. They made me the teacher that I am today. They put me through the wringer, but I am grateful for that. I try to imagine the type of teacher I would have turned out to be if they didn't toughen me up and challenge me the way they did. 

As a teacher, it is so important to reflect on your school days. I go even further and think back and reflect on past years. Those years molded me. They also keep me grounded. They keep me true to my core. They are reminders of how far I have come. Trust me. There have been many rough years within my 18 years of teaching. But I look at each of those experiences and take them as learning experiences. Don't get me wrong, it is very difficult getting through those tough times and extremely hard to stay positive. I'm far from perfect and there are many times that I'm extremely hard on myself and question what in the world I'm doing. But we all need to remember to stop, take a breath, and remind ourselves that we aren't going to have picture perfect days every day in our teaching careers. We will have some pretty horrible days where we are ugly crying when we get home! But, we are human. We will survive it as long as we support each other.

So this year, 2020, it is definitely one for the books. Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself teaching children live in my classroom and virtually to children who are home. Yes, we are ALL struggling. But, we will survive it. We will be stronger teachers from this. Sure, we might be crying into our pillows some mornings thinking that we can't do one more day of this virtual stuff! Sure, we may all have carpel tunnel from all of the extra computer work and neck and eye problems from looking at the screen so long. And yes, we will cringe every time we hear someone say "mute," "zoom," "google meet," and "glitching" in the future. But, we will get through it and (eventually) laugh about it in years to come.

How do I know this? Because today I'm smiling to myself with a full heart as I remember my first students back from 2003. It was a rough year...but I survived it. My students survived it. And, I have my students to thank for making me the teacher that I am today.

"Feet Don't Fail Me Now"

We made it to Friday! WHOOP WHOOP!

This morning was another cold, rainy miserable morning...the kind that you just want to stay in your pajamas wrapped in a blanket. I had to change my mindset first thing this morning and put up my energy shield because I was NOT letting this weather determine the kind of day I was going to have.

If I tell you that these kids came in today with a lot of energy, that is a complete and total understatement. Seriously. I wish I had the energy that they had just in their little finger! I hoped and prayed that their energy would be contagious, but my immune system must have been REALLY strong against catching that today. So what to do?

Dance it out, of course!

Today's Track: "You and I" by The Revivalists

"'cause all I wanna do is dance

I just wanna raise my hands

Raise em' up to the sky

It's just you and I"

When the kids come in with that much energy, we have to make sure we take many "brain breaks" throughout the day to get the wiggles and excitement out. Dancing it out to THIS song in particular actually wore them out! Plus, it gave me the jolt of energy I needed to survive the day. (side note: it made me realize how desperately I need to get in more cardio!)

Today, music wasn't used in my classroom to cope with uncomfortable emotions. It was used to release excess energy so the students could focus better on the lessons and their work and not feel restless. But at the same time, the same song was used for me to wake up and give me more energy. How wonderful and powerful it is for a single song to have the ability to help us with our energies in two completely different ways.

Your homework assignment for the weekend (sorry, but I'm going to be THAT teacher right now): really think about my favorite line from this song. See if you can apply it to your own lives...

🎵 "Do you live in the moment when you think about the future?" 🎵

"Pick Me Up, Love...EVERYDAY!"

My students this year definitely have personality. I can have fun with them and joke with them during the school day. One child didn't quite seem his normal upbeat self today. So, when I started asking the class to name their feelings this morning, he said "sad." I asked him if he knew what was making him feel sad and he stated that he missed spending time with his dad. We had a class discussion about how we are all allowed to feel what we feel and no one can tell you NOT to feel a certain way. But what we CAN do for each other is help each other cope with uncomfortable feelings.

I told them about a song that I enjoy by a band that I really like. Ok, ok, I don't just really like them....I guess you may call it more of an obsession since I have seen them live in concert 64 times in the last 22 years in 2 countries and 8 different states. It's more than the music for me...it's the friendships that I've made with some amazing individuals from all over. They are my what we call "Jamily." Anyway, I could have a whole different blog page on this topic, so I'll save you from me rambling on about this.

Today's Song: Dave Matthews Band - "Everyday"

I explained to the children that in the music video they will see a man walking around all over town and going up to people, but the people just walk away and dismiss him. But then eventually people start responding to him. I asked them to pay attention to the words of the song to try to figure out what he was asking of the people. About halfway through the video, they knew that he was asking for hugs. I asked them WHY he was asking TOTAL STRANGERS for a hug? Their responses were beautiful:

"Maybe he was feeling sad and just wanted to be loved."
"Maybe he wanted other people to be loved."

On top of their beautiful responses, one child even made the connection to a book that I read to them back in September "All You Need Is Love" by John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Illustrated by Marc Rosenthal. They realized that the songs were very similar with the same message. We should spread love and we want to receive love.

As I mentioned in my past posts, this pandemic is doing a number on all of our emotions. Some of us just want to be hugged and give hugs! So, on top of discussing our feelings, understanding our feelings, watching and discussing the music video and lyrics, I improvised a bit to help this child out with his feelings EVEN MORE (if you don't know this by now, "go big or go home" is part of my classroom teaching philosophy). We all traced our hands and colored them bright, cheerful colors and designed them however we wished. Then I had them cut them out and I taped them on rulers. We were then all about to give each other "distant hugs" and "germ free high fives." They LOVED it! They are so excited to use these every day in school! Oh, and the child who was feeling "sad?" Not sad anymore. Positive energy, good music with a good message, and showing that we love each other can help us all cope with our feelings and emotions.

High fives and hugs:

Showing off our creative hands:

Miss Inferrera's Creative Hands:

🎵"All you need is...what you want is...all you need is lovvvvvvvve...."🎵 - Dave Matthews Band

"Holdin' On"

Unfortunately last night I didn't make the time to relax to some music. It was a very busy day after school and preparing for my evening conferences on Google Meet. I went to my mother's to have dinner with her and my step-father and decided to just stay there to conduct my conferences. Don't get me wrong...the conferences went well. I have an amazing group of parents this year who are extremely supportive. But as you know, it's 2020 and we are all full of different anxieties over different things. 

It saddens me that some of my little rock starts become full of anxiety when doing their work virtually. We must remember that every child is different and they  process things in different ways. Some children thrive with virtual learning, while others need that in person contact with the teacher. So hearing about some of them having anxiety while learning from home hit me hard. I felt grateful that this one parent felt comfortable enough to open up to me about it. We discussed ideas, strategies, and tools they can use at home to help their child with coping with virtual learning. What just about broke me though was when the mother just about broke down crying in relief. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from her just knowing that we are going to all get through this together as a team. I reassured her that she is an amazing parent and has raised her child so wonderfully that she should not only be proud of him, but to also be proud of HERSELF. She got very emotional and all I wanted to do was give her a hug. But alas, we are on Google Meet.

I am one of those empaths that physically and emotionally feel what others are physically and emotionally feeling. So when this parent was telling me about their child's struggles with anxiety during their virtual learning days, I became overwhelmed with anxiety myself. I was literally feeling the same things he probably feels. I went to bed last night feeling restless, my heart racing, and my mind going a mile a minute. 

What I should have done? Listen to music. Obviously.

But did I do the obvious? Well, let's just say I'm hanging my head in shame as I answer with a pathetic "no." 

Out of all days/evenings, music was needed the most last night. I'm sure I would have had a little better of an evening and a better night's sleep if I did listen to some music. So, hopefully I learned my lesson.

Today is an all-virtual day for all students. They are all watching the video lessons and completing their assignments at home while I'm alone in my classroom meeting with students in groups and some 1-on-1 sessions. It's probably for the best that I'm alone in my room. Why? Well, can you guess what's going on in my classroom?

Music is playing. Yes, I do learn from my mistakes quickly (well, most of the time at least...no one is perfect and sometimes I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment).

Now playing: Citizen Cope (all albums on shuffle on my phone)

Today's spotlight tracks: "Holdin' On" and "Sideways"

If you haven't heard of Citizen Cope, I highly suggest giving them a listen. Very mellow stuff. One of my recent favorite tracks is "Holdin' On." It is one of those songs where the melody hits you straight in your core. I literally "feel" this song. Yes, I'm also one of those people who physically feel music. Sometimes I feel it on my skin. This song...well, I actually feel the melody running through my veins. 

There is some music I listen to for the lyrics. Then others I listen to for the melody. Then there are some special ones that both the lyrics and melody are equally powerful. I usually listen to Citizen Cope for the melodies. The instrumentals that I am listening to as I have it on shuffle are so soothing and therapeutic for me today. 

I am working hard today to keep my energy shield activated to block out negative energy. I'm continuing to take in only positive energy around me and release it into the world around me.

In the meantime, I continue to sing myself the lyrics
🎵 "Let yourself go girl, let yourself go..."🎵