After School Unwind Session: “How does it feel..."

I’m writing today’s blog feeling half asleep. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but it seems like I’m feeling overly tired everyday by the end of the day. More so than usual. I’m attributing this to mental exhaustion. I actually talked with a coworker/friend after school today and she was saying how tired she has been as well. We are somewhat confused by it because it's a different kind of tired. No one has ever experienced anything like this before. It's not so much the work load that is making us feel this way. It's the combination of that along with stress, anxiety, concern for our students and parents, and a lot of computer time and virtual meetings with our students and colleagues as well. With all of the adjustments we as educators had to make since March 13th, it has been mentally draining. And experiencing this type of mental fatigue alerts me that I need to do something about it.

I am going to be brutally honest here...I have absolutely no idea what to do for myself to help with this different type of mental exhaustion. I’ve been going to bed early every night. I’m also taking more vitamins (vitamin C, D, and calcium). I’ve been trying to avoid being on the laptop after school and have taken a giant step back from social media because that ALONE can be mentally draining. I’m also taking some time for self care by listening to music, relaxing, reading, and writing for self reflection. So the only thing I can think of doing that I’m not already doing is to devote time to exercise.  

I used to go to the gym quite often. I used to be there at the very least 4 days a week. I would do cardio each of those days by doing the elliptical machine or the bike for 45-50 minutes. I would then do some strength training on different muscle groups and focus on one or two muscle groups each day. While working out, my favorite thing to listen to would be a 90s Hip Hop channel. It always got me pumped and kept me going. My last day at the gym was March 11. So, I have a feeling that my body is overly craving a good workout regimen. 

I think my main issue right now is that I’m not holding myself accountable for exercising during the week. I feel like I need an accountability partner. My good friend Randy who lives in NY reached out to me and said that we could be walking buddies. We can walk at the same time certain days to motivate each other. We could text or talk on the phone to push each other to keep going. I’m definitely going to take him up on that offer. But we have very different work schedules that might make it difficult on most days. 

So I'm thinking maybe I should have a few accountability partners. I mean, really, I need all the help that I can get. Maybe we can create a playlist of songs together that would motivate us. The playlist is KEY to getting through a workout. It could make you or break you. The wrong songs on the playlist will have you wanting to take more rests than reps.  I also would want to have an accountability partner to think of different exercises that we can do from our own homes that target certain muscle groups and maybe walk “together” before the weather gets too chilly. If you're reading this and you are relating to this blog, PLEASE, reach out to me. Maybe we can do this thing together and support each other! 

On a lighter note, what are some "must have" songs on your work out playlist? Do you play one type of genre for cardio, then something completely different weights/strength training? Please comment and share! As I mentioned earlier, I usually play a 90s Hip Hop mix. I'm curious to hear what all of you listen to !

For now though, some music therapy to unwind and relax a little. 

Now Spinning: "Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits"

🎵 "If your time to you is worth savin'
And you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'" 🎵 
-Bob Dylan

“All You Need Is Love”

Remember last week’s project I did with the kids that involved tracing their hands to put in rulers so we can give distance hugs and high fives? Well, I was super excited to do that project with today’s group of students (I only did it with my Thursday/Friday group). They were just as excited about finally being able to give hugs!

Not only did I play the song “Everyday” by the Dave Matthews Band, but I also played the infamous Beatles song. 

Today’s Track: “All You Need Is Love” by The Beatles

I also held up the boom “All You Need is Love” that I read to them in September and they immediately made the connection. They really enjoyed the song and the meaning behind it. 

As much as I love playing music in the classroom, I have to be careful and make sure I don’t play anything with lyrics while they are working. Listening to lyrics being sung could end up backfiring and cause them to focus more on the song and not their work, ESPECIALLY while writing. Let’s be real...I would end up singing along instead of writing my story that I’m supposed to be working on! But there is a very easy remedy to get the best of both worlds with work completion AND listening to and enjoying music. 

Classical music. 

I took 10 years of dance...primarily ballet. So I love listening to classical music still to this day. But you’re probably thinking “yea, ok. But what 6 year old child wants to listen to classical music?” Well, you would be surprised. 

Please, if you take away one thing from today’s blog, I hope it’s this: listen to The Vitamin String Quartet. Like the sound piano more? Check out The Piano Guys. But for now, let me focus on The Vitamin String Quartet. Think of your favorite singer/band. Got it? Ok...well guess what? The Vitamin String Quartet probably has an album made of their music or at least a song. They range from Aerosmith to Zeppelin. Not just classic rock either! Metallica, The Cure, Eminem, Gorillaz, and yes, even Kanye West. 

Why do I love playing this while the children are reading and writing? I get to jam out to some of my favorite artists and songs, not be afraid whether or not the lyrics are kid appropriate since there are no lyrics at all, and the kids LOVE it! They will always chime in and say “hey, wait! I know this song!” And I’ll say “yes, that’s an Imagine Dragons song!” So today, we got to listen to more Beatles songs while we read and completed our writing assignment thanks to The Vitamin String Quartet!

We want these kids to feel excited about school. I don’t want them to ever feel bored in my class. I have to play to their interests as well as my own to make the classroom environment comfortable, fun, and exciting. Music brings that all together. 

🎵 “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be, it easy...all you need is love...”🎵 -The Beatles

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"

Do you ever hear a song that immediately brings you back to a specific time and place in your life? You may have quite a few songs that do that to you! If you have the desire to read up on WHY that happens, check out this article by Tiffany Jenkins (the brain is so fascinating to me!). 

Today as I was watching football with the family, a commercial came on that brought me back in time to my first year teaching.

Today's Track: "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

You might be wondering why on earth a 1967 Motown love song reminds me of my first year teaching. Well, hop into my time machine so I can take you back to 2003...

September 2003...I was 22 years old...just a baby and fresh out of college! I taught third grade in Atlantic City, NJ my first year teaching and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Literally...my first day there to set up my room, I had to ask administration exactly what grade did they hired me for because no one even told me!

It was a very tough year, to say the least. I'm sure there are more teachers than not that could say that they questioned their career path their first year teaching. I questioned it every day. These kids pushed me. I honestly didn't think I was going to last the school year without resigning or having a nervous break down. I dealt with a variety of behavioral issues, broke up fights, all while trying to make my classroom a "safe place" for my kids. Yes, I STILL call them "my kids." I know they came from so many different backgrounds, family dynamics, and economic statuses. But to me, they were all just third graders who I knew really needed me. And I needed them.

I'm not stupid. I know quite a few of them were trying to scare me away. They probably took one look at me that first day and placed bets on how long I would last! We had "classroom grandmas" who came and volunteered in classrooms to help out. I knew I was in over my head when my classroom grandma left me in the dust after 2 weeks. 

I would call my mother daily, usually in tears, telling her how I managed to survive another day. And she would call me every morning to make sure I got myself into my car and drive back to school for another day of teaching. Well, one morning on my drive in, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" came on my iPhone's shuffle. I listened to it with a different set of ears. I knew these kids needed me, no matter how high they built their walls around them or how hard they pushed me away. I knew I had to do whatever it took to get to them. If I reached ONE child, it was an accomplishment in my mind. 

So picture this young, too-skinny white girl with no rhythm blasting this song for the kids and telling them to listen to the lyrics as I sang and danced around the room. Of course they thought I finally lost my mind. To their credit, I probably did. But I was determined to get them to let their walls down. I told them that I was here for THEM. There was a reason that I got this job as my first teaching job right out of college. It was what I was meant to do in that moment in time and nothing was going to stop me from being there for them, no matter how hard they pushed me away. 

I started staying after school to reteach everything from the day for any student who wanted to stay since we had so many disruptions due to behaviors. Soon, I was having my regulars show up. Then some of my regulars had their siblings younger and older hang out with us as well. It wasn't all academics. We talked about whatever was on their minds.

One day one of my students came in so excited because his mom got that evening off and was going to be home for dinner and they had a nice meal all planned out to have all together with the family. I was so happy for him because his mom worked crazy shifts at the casinos and she usually wasn't home for dinner. Well, it turned out that she ended up getting called in to cover for someone. He was heartbroken. I called her up and asked her if I could take him and his siblings for pizza. Of course she at first told me that it was not necessary. But I told her that I wanted to do something special for her and for her kids. She was a hard working mom and these kids have been staying after school to try to keep their grades up. So she gave in. You would have thought that I gave these kids a million dollars! I was so proud of them sitting there, tucking their napkins into their shirts, and using the manners that I kept trying to instill in them. 

These "kids" are now 26 years old. Teachers don't realize how old they are until they hear how old their former students are! I'm friends with that child and his siblings on social media and it was just his birthday. So I wished him a happy birthday. Can you believe he STILL remembers that day!

Throughout that year, we listened to the song and sang the song as a reminder that I wasn't giving up on them and that I didn't want them to give up on me. It slowly became our classroom theme song.

So today, when I heard that song play on a commercial, my heart swelled up and I was taken back to that first year of my career. Now I'm in my 18th year of teaching. I still think of those "kids" daily. They made me the teacher that I am today. They put me through the wringer, but I am grateful for that. I try to imagine the type of teacher I would have turned out to be if they didn't toughen me up and challenge me the way they did. 

As a teacher, it is so important to reflect on your school days. I go even further and think back and reflect on past years. Those years molded me. They also keep me grounded. They keep me true to my core. They are reminders of how far I have come. Trust me. There have been many rough years within my 18 years of teaching. But I look at each of those experiences and take them as learning experiences. Don't get me wrong, it is very difficult getting through those tough times and extremely hard to stay positive. I'm far from perfect and there are many times that I'm extremely hard on myself and question what in the world I'm doing. But we all need to remember to stop, take a breath, and remind ourselves that we aren't going to have picture perfect days every day in our teaching careers. We will have some pretty horrible days where we are ugly crying when we get home! But, we are human. We will survive it as long as we support each other.

So this year, 2020, it is definitely one for the books. Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself teaching children live in my classroom and virtually to children who are home. Yes, we are ALL struggling. But, we will survive it. We will be stronger teachers from this. Sure, we might be crying into our pillows some mornings thinking that we can't do one more day of this virtual stuff! Sure, we may all have carpel tunnel from all of the extra computer work and neck and eye problems from looking at the screen so long. And yes, we will cringe every time we hear someone say "mute," "zoom," "google meet," and "glitching" in the future. But, we will get through it and (eventually) laugh about it in years to come.

How do I know this? Because today I'm smiling to myself with a full heart as I remember my first students back from 2003. It was a rough year...but I survived it. My students survived it. And, I have my students to thank for making me the teacher that I am today.

After School Unwind Session: "I Do What I Want When I'm Wanting To"

My favorite thing to do on Friday evenings is spin some vinyls from my record collection. It usually takes me a while to browse through and pick something out that I'm in the mood to listen to. Today, I knew exactly what I wanted to hear.

Now Spinning: Billie Eilish - Live at Third Man Records

My. God...

Eighteen. Years. Old. (Well, 17 when she performed this)

She was, I believe 14 or 15 when she recorded her first album. WHAAAAAT?!

Some people love her. Some people also just don't get what the hype is about her. Me? Well, I'm one of those who just got sucked in the very moment I first heard her sing.

Her vocals are just so different. So...raw. This girl has some serious lyrical talent. I mean, her and her brother recorded her first album in her bedroom. Imagine what this girl will do as she matures even more with her music and continues to have the resources to produce more and more! (honestly though, I'm kinda scared for that. I don't want her to start sounding "overly produced." Keep it raw, girl!)

When I first heard her sing, I immediately thought "where was she when I was in high school?" It just fits with my musical tastes then and my teenage mood swings. But at least she is gracing me with her beautiful lyrics now. I can now sit with a glass of wine, kick up my feet, reflect on my life, and get into a trance from her hypnotic songs. 

Key Tracks:

• "Ocean Eyes" - Emotional...you have been warned. So beautifully and perfectly written. Important thing to keep in mind, she was only 14 when she wrote this song.
  
• "Bad Guy" - This is one that just feels so dirty, sexy, raw, and powerful.
• "COPYCAT" - Love her humor and it just oozes sarcasm.

Why did I choose to listen to this album this evening? Well, first of all, why not? But really, this live album makes me feel like I'm in a small, intimate venue. I'm not in my house anymore. I'm in Nashville with my friends, enjoying live, acoustic music, drinks, food...there is no pandemic. I am in my happy place. I am free.

🎵 "Too shy to say, but I hope you stay..." 🎵 - Billie Eilish

"Feet Don't Fail Me Now"

We made it to Friday! WHOOP WHOOP!

This morning was another cold, rainy miserable morning...the kind that you just want to stay in your pajamas wrapped in a blanket. I had to change my mindset first thing this morning and put up my energy shield because I was NOT letting this weather determine the kind of day I was going to have.

If I tell you that these kids came in today with a lot of energy, that is a complete and total understatement. Seriously. I wish I had the energy that they had just in their little finger! I hoped and prayed that their energy would be contagious, but my immune system must have been REALLY strong against catching that today. So what to do?

Dance it out, of course!

Today's Track: "You and I" by The Revivalists

"'cause all I wanna do is dance

I just wanna raise my hands

Raise em' up to the sky

It's just you and I"

When the kids come in with that much energy, we have to make sure we take many "brain breaks" throughout the day to get the wiggles and excitement out. Dancing it out to THIS song in particular actually wore them out! Plus, it gave me the jolt of energy I needed to survive the day. (side note: it made me realize how desperately I need to get in more cardio!)

Today, music wasn't used in my classroom to cope with uncomfortable emotions. It was used to release excess energy so the students could focus better on the lessons and their work and not feel restless. But at the same time, the same song was used for me to wake up and give me more energy. How wonderful and powerful it is for a single song to have the ability to help us with our energies in two completely different ways.

Your homework assignment for the weekend (sorry, but I'm going to be THAT teacher right now): really think about my favorite line from this song. See if you can apply it to your own lives...

🎵 "Do you live in the moment when you think about the future?" 🎵